Picking Up the Pieces
by Anonymous367
Summary: Things are changing at the Curtis house. After a tragic accident in 'Nam, Soda is back home, but things are far from okay. Ponyboy must cope with the mistakes he's made, but will it send him over the edge? Will Soda fall too? Will anyone be able to hold on?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

I was mad, boiling mad, the day Soda left. He chose Steve over Darry and I. The day after Steve was enlisted, Soda went downtown and signed himself up for the Vietnam War. I could barely look him in the eye when he left and I knew that was killing him. I didn't return any of his letters because I knew that would hurt him too. I wanted to make him feel as small and as upset as I felt then.

Looking back, I realized how wrong I was. If I could rewind time and take it all back, I would do it in a heart beat. I think the idea of another person leaving sent me over the edge. I was too stupid to come to my senses and realize that it was Soda. Sodapop has the biggest heart of anyone I know and cares about everyone, especially his family. I should've trusted him when he said he was going to come back.

Now, looking down at Soda's weak, defeated self lying curled up in a hospital bed makes me feel sick to my stomach. If I could trade places with him, I would. A tear slips out of the corner of my eye and I wipe it away hastily.

Darry spins me around and pulls me into a tight hug, running his hands through my hair comfortingly. He's trying to shield me from seeing Soda like this and is trying to shield me from the guilt he knows I'm feeling. Darry was the one who tried to get me to write Soda, the one who would make excuses for me when I refused to talk to him on the phone.

Obviously, if I couldn't even bring myself to forgive and support my brother, there is no way I was going to do that for Steve. Again, standing here wrapped up in Darry's arms, I feel beyond horrible about everything I didn't say or do for him because after seeing what happened to Soda, I can't begin to imagine what Steve is going through. What if he's dead in a ditch somewhere in 'Nam and died alone with no one there to mourn for him? No one to hold his hand in his last moments? Darry and Two-Bit wrote to him all the time and I wish like hell I did too.

Whether I like it or not, Steve was one of us. He was a part of our little five person family. I know I don't deserve to cry for Soda or Steve now but I want to so badly. I want to scream apologies at the top of my lungs until I run out of air.

Two-Bit shows up in the doorway and immediately looks away, needing time to come to terms with everything that's happened. I take a deep breath, turn around, and tell myself it's okay. I look at Soda and my stomach flips. Soda's right leg was blown off about a week ago. They removed most of the shrapnel from his leg but now they need to get do another surgery to try and repair some nerves and stuff like that.

Soda has been on some extremely heavy pain medications and has only woken up in fits of feverish hallucinations. Basically, that means he doesn't know that he's missing a leg yet and I feel bad for the person who has to tell him. I hope to goodness Darry won't have too. He's been through so much already. Darry thinks I don't notice when he cries quietly at night, thinks I don't notice the empty beer bottles in the trash can. I think that's what scares me the most. Darry has always been the strong one, the sensible one. When Darry gets scared, you know things are bad.

Two-Bit walks further into the room and sits down heavily in one of the chairs. Darry does the same but grabs Soda's hand. I sit on Soda's other side and take his hand too. The three of us bow our heads and wait. We're waiting for the nurses to take him away in a few hours and then we would wait some more and then we would see if this moment was really the last time we ever saw Soda. The only thing we have to hold onto right now is the steady beeping from Soda's heart monitor and the little puff of air that fills the oxygen mask everytime Soda takes a breath. This is going to be a long night.


	2. Chapter 2

My whole body is trembling but the funny thing is, I'm not cold. Two-Bit and Darry fell asleep about two hours ago, after Soda was taken into surgery. I can't sit still any longer so I wander down to the cafeteria and grab two coffees, one for me and one for Darry. Two-Bit isn't a coffee person. He says it makes him too sober. By the time I get upstairs, the doctor is there and I pick up my pace. I slip inside silently and put the coffees on the table just in time to catch the tail end of their conversation.

"...was very successful but the hardest part will be recovery. I'll have the nurse talk to you about some options for physical therapy and prosthetics." the doctor says before shaking Darry's hand and walking out the door.

Darry sits back in his chair, looking very relieved. I hand him his coffee and he absentmindedly takes a sip. Two-Bit takes a flask out of his jacket and takes a few big swings. Darry looks at him with a raised eyebrow.

"For the nerves." Two-Bit explains and Darry nods in understanding. "How are you holding up, Superman?" Two-Bit asks. Darry smiles slightly at the use of his nickname but it's a sad smile.

"I really don't know yet," Darry says, "I'll feel better when Soda is awake and when we get him home. I hate hospitals."

"Me too." I say at the exact same time Two-Bit does. After that, we sit in complete silence, lost in our thoughts. We get up and go to see Soda in the recovery wing a few minutes later, walking in shoulder to shoulder, using each other for support. When we finally enter the room, the first thing I notice is that, although Soda is awake, tears are streaming down his face. Even though he's crying, his eyes are constantly scanning the room, almost like he is on the lookout. He jumps when the nurse slams a folder down on the nurses' station desk before hurrying off.

Before I can blink, Darry has his arms wrapped around Soda but still, Soda seems uncomfortable and on edge. "Hey, Soda, how are you feeling? I've missed you so much, I'm so happy you're home! I can't believe you let them cut your hair!" Darry says in one breath, taking in Soda's new apperance. Soda ignores him and locks eyes with me.

"Soda, I'm so sorry that I-" I start but he cuts me off.

"Get out." Soda says simply, staring me down.

"What?" I ask, not sure I heard him right.

"Get. Out." He growls, his face contorting with anger. Then he starts screaming, "GET OUT, PONYBOY! GET OUT, GET OUT, GO AWAY!"

The nurses start to swarm over and are about to inject something into Soda's I.V but I don't stay and watch. I turn on my heel and run out of the room, Darry yelling for me to come back. I don't listen and I sprint down the hallway and out the automatic double doors. I run outside, right into the cool fall air that burns in my chest. I run five miles with tears pouring down my cold, wind burned cheeks. I stop only when I reach Curly's house. Curly is the closest thing I have to a best friend since Johnny died. I burst through the door and stride into the kitchen. Curly comes racing out of his room, wearing nothing but his boxers.

"Jesus, you scared the shit out of me! What's the matter?" he asks, watching me rummage through his kitchen cabinets.

"I need a drink." I say.

Curly nods and leaves the room. He comes back a minute later with two bottles of whiskey and puts them on the table.

"Thanks." I say before grabbing a bottle and ripping the top off. I take a few swigs and savor the burn it leaves in my throat and in my chest, all the way down to my stomach.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Curly asks awkwardly.

"There's nothing to tell really. Soda's leg got blown off and he hates me because I never wrote or said goodbye when he left and stuff and he screamed at me to get out once he got out of surgery." I say, chuckling a bit. The whole situation almost doesn't seem real.

"I might need a drink too." Curly says after a few moments of silence before grabbing the second bottle off the table. "Poor Soda. He's been through so much. Man, that's crazy. I grew up with you guys! It doesn't seem possible that something so bad can happen to someone you know so well."

Curly sits in a chair by the kitchen table. I lean against the wall and let myself sink down to the floor. "You got that right." I whisper, before chugging a fourth of the whiskey. Curly and I drink in silence together and I don't know what I would do without him. He knows when to ask what's wrong and he knows when you just need someone to drink and be sad with. He knows just what to say when you need it most. Curly doesn't think he's a good person but I know better. Yes, he has his flaws but so do I. A little while later, there is a polite knock on the door.

"I'll get it." he says, standing up and taking the whiskey with him. He bumps into the wall and to the couch but then eventually completes his messy, drunken journey to the door. He opens it excitedly, "Hey, Cherry!" he says.

"Hey, Curly." she says. They met each other the day of the trial. "I need to talk to Ponyboy."

"Well, come in!" he says, swaying slightly. I can't see Cherry or Curly but I hear footsteps coming in this direction. I continue to stare blankly at the wall. Cherry comes into view a few seconds later when she crouches down next to me. "Hey, Darry called and explained everything. I'm supposed to drive you back to the hospital." she says gently.

"Nope." I tell her before I take another sip out of the bottle. "I'm not ready to go back. Did I ever tell you that I hate hospitals?"

Cherry looks at me with a sad expression on her face before standing up. "Then we won't go. I just need you to come with me." she says and I agree reluctantly. Cherry says something to Curly and they both grab me by an arm and pull me upwards. The world goes in and put of focus and I suddenly get very dizzy.

Cherry puts her arm around my waist to steady me before she rips the whiskey out of my grasp and hands it to Curly. "Ponyboy Curtis, you are sixteen years old. You shouldn't be drinking." she scolds. She guides me out of the kitchen, through the living room, and out the front door to her tuff car.

By the time we get to her Sting Ray, Cherry is out of breath and throws me into the passenger seat. "You know I hate drunks." she says, slamming the car door shut before getting in the driver's seat. She tears off down the road and seven minutes later, we arrive at her house. "My parents aren't home but if you throw up on the rug, I will kill you." She says seriously before helping me out of the car and dragging me inside.

We walk into her room and everything is neat and put away, just like i remember. I sit on the bed and let myself fall back against the collection of pillows, making myself right at home. Cherry pulls off her shoes before taking off mine and then climbs into the bed next to me. She smells like flowers. I put an arm around her and immediately relax. This is what we used to do all those years ago after Johnny and Bob died. I would sneak into her room whenever I couldn't sleep and we would talk and talk all night.

She rolls onto her side so now her face is level with mine before reaching up and wiping away the tears on my face I didn't know were there. Finally, I let loose and let it all out.

"I messed up so badly. The man who woke up today is not my brother." I say, sobs racking my body. I gasp for air and cry some more and she just lays next to me, holding me as I let go. When I calm down she takes my hand and intertwines our fingers.

"I can't say I understand what you're going through but you have to understand I'm not letting you go through this alone." Cherry says, snuggling closer to me.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning, Cherry forces me out of bed and after a lot of asprin, I help her make breakfast. I brush my teeth with the toothbrush I left here a while ago and, after washing my face, Cherry drives me to the hospital. I go to get out of the car but before I do, she grabs my hand. "You can do this." she says.

I smile, "Thank you for everything. I'll call you later." After that, I close the door and make my way up to Soda's room. Darry and Two-Bit are asleep with their heads resting in their hands. Soda is sleeping too. I shake Darry awake. "Hey, you and Two-Bit should go back to the house and get some sleep. Two-Bit doesn't seem himself." I say.

Darry rubs his eyes and yawns, "Are you sure you'll be okay?" he asks.

I nod, "Soda is sleeping anyway."

"Okay, we'll be back in a couple of hours then. I'll bring you some clothes." Darry says before standing up and stretching. He gives me a tight hug before waking Two-Bit up.

"See you later, Pone." Two-Bit croaks groggily. I wave lazily and they shuffle out the door, completely exhausted. I sit in a chair and flip through a magazine that one of the nurses probably left behind. A few minutes later, Soda suddenly lets out a scream. I jump to a standing position, startled. Soda is breathless and looks like he might be sick. His eyes are wild and he scans the room. He only calms down when he sees me. I move towards him and he grabs me by the wrist before closing his eyes and taking a few shaky, slow breaths.

"Hey, are you okay? Do you need me to get the nurse?" I ask.

Soda shakes his head, "I'm sorry, this happens everytime I wake up. I get horrible night terrors." I nod and slowly sit down. _How long has this been going on?_ Soda mentioned it so casually. "I'm really sorry about yelling at you last night. I didn't want to you to have to see me like this. But it isn't like you to listen anyways." he says, smiling widely.

I laugh and just want to hug him. I've missed that smile so much. "Soda, I am so, so sorry that I didn't try to talk to you. You can hate me if you want to and I'll understand. I just couldn't handle someone else leaving." I say, my throat closing up slightly.

Soda squeezes my arm weakly, "Ponyboy, it's okay. It's really okay. I'm not mad. I understand. That's why I went with Steve. I couldn't handle losing someone else either."

I nod because everything clicks into place, "We think more alike then I thought."

Tears fill my eyes and Soda squeezes my hand. It's okay." he says, silently forgiving me. We sit like that for a while, just enjoying each other's presence. The nurse comes into the room a few minutes later and I back up to give her some space. She looks at her chart, "Okay, Mr. Curtis, I need to roll you over so you don't get bed sores and I'll be doing this every couple of hours. Oh and my name is Alice." She pulls down this sling-like contraption from the ceiling and pulls the covers off of Soda. He looks away immediately and Sally begins her poking and prodding at his leg. Soda hisses in pain and I give him my hand which he squeezes tightly. "I'm sorry, I just need to make sure things are healing correctly. Everything feels good, I just need to change this bandage." she says, unwrapping the dressing on Soda's stump. I look at the bloody, messy thing and it makes my stomach turn.

Soda sees my expression and looks concerned, "How does it look, Pone?"

"Better than it did when you first got here." I say and Soda seems satisfied. Alice puts on gloves and picks up the leg. Immediately, Soda's eyes roll back and he goes limp. The nurse doesn't seem concerned and finishes rebandaging it before putting his leg in the dangling sling-thing so it's elevated and won't swell. Then, she rolls Soda onto his side so he is facing me. "Okay, I'm just going to give him some more morphine and when I come back in a hour, I'll roll him back and we'll give him something to eat." she says before injecting the drugs into his I.V and walking out of the room.

I rest my forehead on the edge of the bed and try and hide my tears from Soda even though I know he was asleep. Man if this is rough for me, I can't imagine the hell that Soda is going through. I watch as my tears drip onto the ground and will myself to pull it together.

Alice comes back an hour later and Darry and Two-Bit still aren't here. She rolls Soda onto his back and shakes him gently to wake him up. He's still groggy and when he starts talking, I realize he's as high as a kite. Soda strokes my face with the back of his hand and smiles, "Hey Dad, how'd I do? Did you see me? Did you see me score that touchdown?"

I cough a couple times and bite my lip to keep from crying again. All it seems I can do these days is cry and I hate it. I look at Soda and sigh. Everyone has always said I look like my Dad. God, I wish my Dad was here right now. I look at Alice. _Play_ _along,_ she mouths. I turn back to Soda.

"Yeah, you looked awesome out there, kiddo." I say.

Soda leans back onto his pillows and seems so peaceful. "Hey Dad, I saw you the other day." he says, switching topics.

"Oh yeah, where?" I ask.

"When I was in the jungle! There was this loud noise and I called out for you and you just showed up! They didn't know who I was talking about but they said whoever was with me definitely kept me alive."

"Who said that?" I ask, afraid to know the answer.

"The doctors, the ones who fixed my leg." Soda informs me with a soft smile on his face. "I was ready to go with you but they wouldn't let me. I'm sorry Dad. I wish I could've, I just miss you and Mom so much."

All of a sudden, it clicks. Jungle, Dad, doctors. Soda must've seen Dad after he stepped on that land mine. Soda had almost died, he was ready to let go. "I love you but I'm glad you didn't come with me. You need to stay with your brothers and let them take care of you. I have to go now but I love you." I say, my voice and my body both trembling.

Soda nods, "I love you too Dad. Tell Mom I love her also." I nod, let go of Soda's hand and rush out of the room. I have to get out of here, I can't breathe. I turn the corner and slam right into Darry.

"Whoa!" he says, taken off guard. "Wait, Ponyboy?" Darry exclaims, recognition taking over. "What happened?" he asks.


	4. Chapter 4

Soda had to stay in the hospital for two more weeks after that. He's coming home today but for some reason, I feel very uneasy. I feel like something bad is going to happen and my gut is never wrong. When Soda hobbles through the door and sits down on the couch, I breathe a sigh of relief. So far, so good.

"Ponyboy, can you keep an eye on things for a while? I just need to run to the store and grab some things for dinner. Two-Bit needed to do something for his momma but said he would stop by later." Darry asks, a genuine smile lighting up his face. He's so happy that Soda is back and so am I.

"Yeah, no problem." I say, glancing over at Sodapop who is already asleep on the couch and Darry ruffles my hair and leaves. I sigh and try and think of something I can do to entertain myself. I wander up and down the stairs, admiring the old family pictures hanging on the walls. Then, I head to my room and try and clean up a little but then I realize it is a beast that can never be tamed. I'm hanging upside down off the bed and am about to go downstairs and see if Soda is awake when I hear a faint knocking on the door.

I jog downstairs and look at Soda, who is still sleeping, before I open the door. I am immediately met with chaos. I look down to see Curly, beaten and bloody, in a heap on the porch. "Jeez, what the hell happened?" I ask, shocked.

"I messed up bad, Pony. I ran out of money and was trying to get myself another fix and I tried stealing it. Please don't tell Tim but I really need your help." Curly says, breathing heavily.

"Drugs?" I say, my eyes practically bulging out of my head. "This is about you trying to steal some stupid drugs? Curly, Tim is the least of your problems right now."

"I know, I know. Can you just help me?" he asks, eyes wide with panic. I don't say anything else as I drag him through the hallway and into the downstairs bathroom. His back is against the tub and I kneel down and rock back on my heels. Curly has his hand pressed to his stomach and blood is running through his hands. Bracing myself, I gently push his hand away and lift up his shirt. There is a deep wound in his stomach that is spurting blood everywhere. It is definitely from a switchblade.

"Curly, did someone stab you?" I ask in disbelief. He nods weakly, his face getting whiter and whiter by the second. "Do you know how deep it went?" He shakes his head again. "Okay, I'm going to stitch it up but then you should go to the hospital and see if you have any internal injuries." I say, recalling everything that I've seen Darry do for people after really big rumbles. I stand up and am about to grab a needle when Soda appears in the doorway.

He sees the blood on the floor and lets out a blood curdling scream. I clap my hands over my ears and Soda stumbles backwards until he eventually trips and falls on his butt. Soda starts to shake violently and continues screaming as I stand frozen with fear. With a rush of adrenaline, I crouch down next to Soda and shake him by the shoulders. "Soda, come back to me! You're okay, please stop screaming!" I say but Soda starts thrashing around, trying to get out of my grasp.

Soda's leg is flying around and his foot connects with my jaw. Pain explodes through my head but I fight through it and struggle to pin his leg down. I finally grab his good leg and force it to the ground before sitting on it. Soda reaches up and wraps his hands around my neck and starts to squeeze. I have never been so scared of someone in my life. I put my hands over Soda's hands and I try and wrestle them off me. This is not the Soda who I talked to in the hospital a few days ago. Soda doesn't even know who I am right now. Man, his amy training has really paid off because he suddenly has an iron grip. Everything starts to go blurry and then I hear the door open.

"What is going on?"Darry roars from the doorway, rushing towards Soda and I. Darry grabs me under my arms and yanks me out of Soda's grasp. I cough and wheeze and Darry puts me on the couch gently before rushing to restrain Soda. "Why is he screaming" Darry yells, pinning Soda to the floor. I point to the bathroom and Darry turns and sees Curly on the floor. "Shit." Darry says. "Ponyboy! Go up to my room and grab the bottle of pills off my dresser. The doctors said this might happen. HURRY!" Darry screams. I rush upstairs, breathless, and grab the pills.

I run downstairs and hand them to Darry and watch as he forces Soda's mouth open and forces the pill down his throat. Soda coughs, choking on the pill a little, before he finally swallows it. Darry continues to hold Soda down until he stops thrashing and eventually slips into unconsciousness a few minutes later. Darry just sits there, shocked and so do I. Suddenly, I remember Curly and race back into the bathroom.

Curly is passed out cold on the tile floor and is bleeding out. His breathing is getting shallower and shallower. "Darry!" I yell.

"Ponyboy, you better explain quickly before I lose my damned mind!" he yells, punching the doorframe in frustration.

I flinch, I've never seen Darry like this before. "Everything was going fine until Curly showed up on the porch like this, asking for help. He got in a bad himself in a bad situation and I was going to stitch him up. Soda walked in, saw the blood, and went bonkers!" I say, panicking. "Can you please help me, he needs to go to the hospital." I say. Darry scoops Curly up, rushes out the front door, and lays him down in the back seat of his truck.

"Ponyboy, you're going to have to drive him. I can't leave Soda after an episode like that. He's dangerous." Darry says, begging me to understand. My chest tightens with anxiety but I grab the keys anyway. I jump into the front seat and Darry touches my shoulder, "Hey, it's okay. Hold it together." I don't respond before speeding away. The funny thing is, there is nothing left for me to hold together. I don't know what to feel anymore.

...

 **Hey guys it's me, Anonymous367:) I'm so sorry for updating twice today and I'm so sorry for being annoying, but I had a lot of ideas today and as you know it's never good for aspiring writers to waste a creative day. I just want to thank everyone for reading this story and for all of your reviews and support. I really didn't think this story would get as far as it has but I'm glad it did because I work really hard on it. Thank you for loving The Outsiders too, I just love that book so incredibly much:) Have an awesome night! (I'm also sorry if this note seems incredibly long and way too perky, I just don't do a lot of these).**


	5. Chapter 5

I drive to the hospital with the pedal pressed to the floor. I whip through the dusty back roads, trying desperately not to panic. I pull into the parking lot of the hospital and am about to run in and get a nurse when I hear Curly say something in the back seat. I open the door and Curly starts coughing. He covers his mouth with his hand and when he pulls his hand away, there's blood. I turn to go but he reaches out and grabs my arm. He takes a sharp, short breath and then he stops. He stops breathing and a strangled noise escapes his throat. His hand slips off my arm and he goes limp.

A tear slips down my cheek and I know it's over. Curly is gone. With slow steps and a heavy heart, I trudge into the hospital. I reach the nurses' station and can't bring myself to look in the lady's eyes. "Hello sir, how may I help you?" she asks.

"Um..there was an uh, an accident. My friend was uh... in an accident. He's um, well he's in my car and I don't think he's breathing." I say, struggling to find the right words. I can't think right now. The nurse dials someone and I zone out again.

"Sir, SIR! I need you to tell this man where your car is, please." the nurse says. I look up and there is a whole team of people waiting by a stretcher. I turn and jog out of the hospital and they follow behind me.

When we reach Darry's truck, they set to work and I can't do anything but stand here. I watch a man check for Curly's pulse and then watch him shake his head. I think I feel something inside of me snap. The team of people pull Curly out of the car and lay him on a stretcher. They pull a sheet over his head and are going to start wheeling him away but I step in front of them.

"Wait." I say, reaching over and pulling the sheet off of Curly's face. A chill runs up my spine when my eyes meet his open ones. I gently close his eyes before putting the sheet back. The strangers rush away with Curly's body and I climb back in the truck and let my forehead fall against the steering wheel. In seconds it's all over. A decade of friendship is gone. A decade. Gone in seconds, just like that. I can't seem to wrap my mind around it all. I start the car and drive to the one place where I know I can lose it. I start my drive to the open lot.

When I get there, I walk over to the fountain where I was almost drowned and thought about how nice it would be if I could finish the job for those Socs right now. I look at the blood on my arm and I suddenly feel like I'm crawling out of my skin. I plunge my hand into the water and scrub my arm until it's raw and all traces of Curly are gone. I couldn't save him. I was late, I'm always too late to help anyone.

I look at the water and it seems so tempting. I just want to feel clean. I stick my legs into the fountain and a shiver runs up my spine. It's so cold. I climb in all the way up to my knees and sit down so the water is up to my shoulders. I slink down until my head is underwater and I scrub my hair until it free of Grease. I want to become someone else, someone with no blood on their hands, someone with no guilt. I bring my head above the water and just sit here, relishing in the sting of the cold against my skin. I close my eyes and when I finally do open them, I feel numb. I let my head roll back against the cool stone and submerge myself again.

I wonder what would happen if I stayed under here. I hold my breath and start to count to thirty.

 _One._

 _Two._

 _Three._

 _Four._

 _Five._

 _Six._

 _Seven._

 _Eight_

 _Nine._

 _T-_

Suddenly, there is a hand pulling me out of the water by my collar. The person drags me over the edge of the fountain and drops me in a heap on the ground. I break into a coughing fit and begin to shiver violently once the air hits my ice cold skin. "I hitchhiked all the way back to this shit hole of a town, excited to get home and see everyone after everything I've been through and what's the first thing I see? You trying to drown yourself in a fountain, a fountain for crying out loud! That's it, let's go." The person says in almost one breath and I look up quickly in disbelief.

"Steve? Where did you come from?" I croak, rubbing my throat where my shirt had dug into my neck. Steve doesn't answer and pulls me up by one arm. I didn't think it was possible but Steve has actually gotten stronger. He throws open the passenger side door of Darry's truck, throws me inside, and slams the door shut. I barely have time to blink before Steve throws the car into gear and takes off down the road. Why didn't I take the keys out of the ignition?

He immediately starts driving like a mad man, swerving side to side and slamming on the brakes randomly. I didn't have time to get buckled so I'm getting thrown around like a rag doll. I slam into the window, then into the dashboard, and am launched back into my seat. Suddenly, Steve turns slightly and we are now headed for a tree. It's a few hundred feet away but at the the speed we're going, it won't take us long to get there. "Slow down, are you crazy?" I scream.

"Oh now you value your life, huh?" Steve asks.

"Steve!" I yell.

"Ponyboy, do you promise not to do anything that stupid, crazy, or idiotic ever, and I mean EVER, again?" He roars. The tree is only about a hundred feet away now.

"YES, JUST STOP!" I scream and Steve slams on the brakes. I am headed for the windshield head first but Steve reflexively sticks his arm out and stops me just in time. When we do finally stop, I swear the front bumper is just inches away from the tree. "You're not going anywhere until you tell me exactly what the hell is going on here." Steve growls, his chest rising and falling quickly, pulsing with adrenaline.


	6. Chapter 6

I take a deep breath and put my head in my hands. I think Steve has finally lost it. "Well, do you know about Soda's leg?" I ask, not knowing where to start.

Steve nods. "I was the one who tried to save him. Someone took a shot at Soda's head and I pushed him out of the way. I got this little beauty." Steve says, chuckling a little before lifting up his shirt. I wince when I see the tender, pink scar on his abdomen.

"You got shot?" I ask in disbelief.

"Yep. But, being Soda, he always has to one up everyone and he landed on a freaking land mine after I pushed him." Steve says, chuckling sadly. "That was one of the worst days of my life. After I was shot, I fell and couldn't find Soda because the grass was so damn high. All I could do is lay there, knowing my best buddy was dying somewhere out there without me. Eventually, I was taken to the hospital and it took me six days to find out that Soda had been flown back home after his first surgery. I remember feeling like I could burst I was so happy. This bullet wound was my golden ticket home. A few weeks later, I was relieved of my duties and sent home on the first flight back to Oklahoma. Now, I'm sitting in this car with you, wondering why the hell I had to pull you out of a fountain. Oh, that reminds me. Here." Steve says, taking off his army jacket and tossing it into my lap.

"Thanks." I say, my teeth chattering. I take off my sweatshirt and then peel my T-shirt off my skin and pull it over my head. I put on Steve's jacket and immediately feel a million times better. "Curly tried to steal some drugs and got himself beat up pretty bad. He came to the house asking for me to help him. I was about to stitch him up when Soda came in, saw all the blood, and completely flipped. He started screaming his head off and when I tried to stop him, he kicked me in the face and tried to choke me to death. Darry came home just in time and pulled him off of me." I tell Steve and he runs his hands down his face.

"Holy shit." He says before he reaches over and gently turns my face to the side. "Is that how you got those nasty bruises?"

I nod and he winces before looking out the window and gesturing for me to continue. "Darry had to force Soda to take a sedative and then I had to drive Curly to the hospital. He didn't make it, he died in the backseat in the hospital parking lot." I say, wiping at the tears dripping down my face.

"The backseat of this car?" Steve asks and I nod. "Jesus, I'm so sorry Ponyboy." He says reaching over the center console of the car to pull me into a hug and I'm taken by surprise. It isn't like Steve to be this nice to me. I guess the war has changed more than just Soda. "Welcome to the glorious life of living in Tulsa, Oklahoma, kid." Steve says with another sad laugh. Oddly enough, I don't care that he called me kid. Something else is bothering me and I can't quite put my finger on it. As Steve keeps talking, it finally hits me.

"Steve." I say as a feeling of ice cold panic rushes through my veins.

Steve lets go of me and sits back in his seat, "What's wrong?"

"Tim doesn't know yet." I say and watch as the heaviness of my words hits him. "Steve, I have to be the one to tell him." I say softly. Steve nods in understanding and starts the car. We drive slowly and in complete silence to the Shepard house. When we get there, I stumble out of the car and trudge up the porch steps before knocking on the door lightly. Tim opens the door, "What the hell do you want?"

"Tim, I'm so sorry." I say, choking on my words a little.

"C'mon what is it? Spit it out." Tim asks, taking a drag of his cigarette before he leans against the doorframe.

"Tim, Curly is dead. He got in a bad scrape and came to me for help. He died on the way to the hospital. I'm so sorry." I say, trailing off when Tim drops his cigarette. He looks as if he might collapse.

"It can't be him. That's crazy talk. Where's my little brother? WHERE IS HE?" Tim yells, grabbing me by the collar of my jacket.

"His body is at the hospital." I say with a heavy heart. Those words feel so wrong on my tongue. Tim shoves me to the side, staggers down the stairs, and climbs into his sorry excuse for a car. I watch as he tears down the road, wondering where he could possibly be going. I can't bring myself to move and after what feels like an eternity, I hear a car door open.

Steve comes up behind me and shuts the door. Then, he puts a hand on my shoulder and pulls me away from the house, "C'mon let's go home." I turn and allow him to lead me back to the car. I can't function right now. When we get back to the house, it takes all the strength I have left to step out of the car. I see Darry look out the window and a few momens later, he throws open the door.

"Ponyboy, why the hell are you soaking wet? What happened?" He asks, rushing over and examining me. Then, Darry looks up and sees Steve. "Steve, where the hell did you come from?" He asks, laughing as he pulls him into a huge hug. "How long have you been back?" Darty asks excitedly, holding him at arm's length.

"Not long, just back today. This little guy was my ticket outta there." Steve says, laughing a little as he shows Darry the same scar he showed me. They keep talking but I stop listening. I start walking up the stairs to the house and don't stop moving until I reach my room.

I take a look around and suddenly I'm flooded with an intense feeling of rage. I let put a scream and punch the wall. I punch it repeatedly until I leave a hole in the drywall, a hole just like the one in my heart. I pick up a book from the ground and throw it at he wall as I let out another scream of frustration. I pick up the chair in front of my desk and throw it over the bed and across the room. I want to break everything in sight until everything is as broken as I feel inside. I suffered in silence through the death of my parents, through Johnny's death, and through Dally's death. I can't stay silent anymore.

..

 **Hey guys! I'm sorry it took me so long to update, I've been sick for the past couple of days and I still am but today is the first day I'm not too tired to do anything. Anyway, here's Chapter Six and I hope you like it! Thank you to everyone who reads this story, it really means a lot to me because this is my first story in a long time and so this story m** **eans a lot to me. Also, thank you for your lovely reviews, I love reading them:) Have a great day!**


	7. Chapter 7

Darry runs into the room and I see him take in the catastrophic mess I've made. I whirl around and punch the wall again, enjoying the mark it leaves. Somehow, I can't bring myself to care about the blood dripping down my knuckles. I bend down to pick up a shoe from the floor but someone pins my arms behind me. "PONYBOY, STOP!" Darry yells but I fight against him.

"NO! IT'S NOT FAIR!" I scream, thrashing about. The emotions that I've stored inside for the last few years are boiling over and there's nothing I can do to stop them. "CURLY IS DEAD!" I scream at the top of my lungs but I still can't seem to accept it.

"BUT YOU'RE STILL ALIVE!" Darry yells back. "Ponyboy, yes, we lose people in our lives and it hurts like hell but that doesn't mean we have to stop living!"

"I don't want to live! I can't do this anymore!" I say, tears pouring down my face.

"Stop, please just stop," Darry says and I hear the tremble in his voice, "What makes you think I can live without you?"

He holds me closer to him so I am forced to give up and stop fighting and so I lean into his shoulder instead. I let loose and cry until I can't breathe. Darry sits on the floor with me, rocking back and forth, watching helplessly as my world falls apart. Sobs viciously rack my body and I don't think I will ever stop crying. Eventually, I will have to get up off this floor and start picking up the broken, scattered pieces of my life and I will have to start putting them back together. Sadly, that day won't be today because I'm not quite ready to start living again.

...

When I wake up, Darry is sound asleep on the floor next to me and it is still dark out. I stand up and stretch, my muscles screaming in protest. I need to get out of here and think a little so I grab a pillow off the bad and put it under Darry's head before I cover him with a blanket. Silently, I pick up some books off the floor and neatly stack them on my desk, feeling horrible for throwing them. Next, I grab the desk chair I threw and put it back where it belongs after making sure it wasn't broken. I straighten the covers on the bed and I pick up all the other miscellaneous objects I threw around the room.

I pick everything up until the only thing left to do is fix the holes in the wall; Darry is going to have to do that later. When I slip out of the room and creep downstairs, the first thing I notice is that Steve is sleeping on the ground next to Soda. A pang of jealously runs through me. Soda comes home and tries to kill me but the minute Steve gets here, Soda's fine. I want my brother back.

I turn around and quietly walk out the front door. I start my stroll to the lot, my favorite place to think. I sit on the ground and lean back against a tree, one of the few trees in this "park." Whenever I come here, I feel like Johnny is with me. Today, I'm going to watch a sunset. I tilt my head back and look at the stars, waiting for day to break. Suddenly, I hear a noise and look up. Down the street, I see someone stumbling around. I can tell they're saying something and I close my eyes and listen.

"Has anyone seen my brother? Anyone?" The person croaks and a strange feeling of recognition sweeps over me. The person stumbles under a streetlight and I'm able to get a quick glimpse of them.

"Tim?" I call out tentatively.

"Have you seen my brother?" The person asks again and I jump to my feet. It is Tim. I get closer to him and, with the dim light from the streetlights, I notice that he is not only covered in throw up but that he also has some fresh bruises on his face. I look at Tim's hands and notice that they look just like mine. I'm guessing Tim blew up, got in some fights, and then got really drunk or vice versa. There really is no other way to cope in this small town.

A pang of sadness runs through me at the realization that Curly was Tim's only family. There was no one to look out for Tim anymore. Normally, Tim was a tough guy and didn't need looking after but he obviously isn't himself tonight. No one is. I feel like I don't know anyone amymore, like I'm living in some strange alternate universe. I shake myself out of my thoughts and push aside the ache of loneliness I feel so I can focus my energy on Tim.

"Tim it's Ponyboy. Do you know who I am?" I ask gently. Tim stares blankly into space, asking the same question over and over again. I grab Tim's forearm and I tug him along behind me for a few blocks before we finally reach his house. Tim sways to the side and I wrap my arm around him and guide him up the porch stairs. "There ya go. Just a little bit more now." I say, dragging him to his room before sitting him down on the bed. I've never been allowed in Tim's room before so I take a good look around and notice that there is stuff everywhere. There are clothes thrown around carelessly and there are magazines and beer cans littering the floor.

I smile, Tim's room was just like Tim: wild, messy, and carefree. I look at Tim sitting on the bed and I pull off his dirty T-shirt and throw it on the ground. Then, I walk out of the room and search for a piece of paper and a pen. When I finally find them, I scribble Tim a note, _Curly wouldn't want you to do this to yourself._

I leave the note on Tim's nightstand and leave the house, there are too many reminders off Curly in here and it's suffocating. Instead, I start to jog down the road. Screw the sunset. I've come to the conclusion that I need to get out of here before I lose it like everyone else. I'm going to leave Tulsa, Oklahoma for the second time in my life and I'm going to love every second of it.


	8. Chapter 8

I run in the direction of my house, deciding I would hitchhike my way out to the country. I continue running and when I run past my house, I look in the window and I see nothing. No one is in the kitchen or the living room, no one is smoking or yelling or playing poker. Everyone is just sleeping. That's what bothers me the most about these last few months.

What I used to love about my situation is that, yes, my parents died a horrible death and my brothers were working themselves to the bone to put me through school but I had seven of my favorite people (mostly six because Steve never liked me) to help me through it and to cheer me up. More recently, after Dally and Johnny died, I could still rely on four of those people for anything (mostly three because Steve didn't like me much then either). Now, it's like everyone is barely a shadow of who they used to be and I hate it. Two-Bit doesn't stay out late to mess with pretty Soc girls or to drink until three o'clock in the morning. Soda can't even drive a car or do a flip anymore so being reckless is most likely not an option for him. Everyone I know is broken and it hurt like hell to watch them break. Now, all I want to do is fix everyone but I don't know where to start..

As I turn away from the house and continue running, I begin thinking about the countryside. I think about my parents and how much fun Darry, Soda, and I had everytime we went there. _C'mon, don't do it Ponyboy, don't turn around. You can finally be done with this place,_ I think to myself. I try and fight against the voices in my head but, after a few more steps, I go with my gut and turn around. The country wouldn't be that great without Darry and Soda anyways. _Or Johnny,_ I add in my head. Sadness seizes my heart as I remember Johnny telling me about how he'd never been anywhere but Tulsa or Windrixville. I wanted to show him the countryside so badly.

I shake myself out of my negative thoughts as I jog through the gated entrance to my house, my feet slapping noisily against the ground. I slow to a walk and I go inside and sneak upstairs quietly, trying not to wake Soda or Steve who are sleeping in the living room. When I make it to my room, Darry is asleep on the floor in the exact same position he was in when I left.

I am about to slip into my bed and pretend that this night didn't happen when someone lets out a huge snore. I lift up my covers and see that Two-Bit has already fallen asleep in my bed. I lean back, gather all of my strength, and roll him off the side of the bed as hard as I can. I burst out laughing as Two-Bit falls because all I can see is a twister of flailing arms and legs. Two-Bit sits up and looks around sleepily, obviously confused about what just happened. He sees me standing by the side of the bed laughing and he narrows his eyes. "You." He whispers menacingly.

"That...th...that'll teach you not to sleep in my bed again." I manage to wheeze out.

"That's it." Two-Bit says, standing up and leaping onto the bed. I stumble backwards into Darry in surprise and I fall flat on my butt. _BOOM!_ There is a huge noise when I land and Darry sit upwards abruptly, startled by the commotion. I start laughing harder and Two-Bit starts laughing a little himself.

"Where'she the fire?" Darry asks drowsily, rubbing his eyes. I laugh so hard that, soon, tears are streaming down my cheeks. Two-Bit sobers up first and lunges for me again but I jump to my feet and manage to dodge him. I turn and run down the stairs, Two-Bit hot on my tail. I'm about to pick up speed and sprint into the kitchen when Two-Bit launches himself off the bottom step and makes a dive for my ankles. He latches onto me and I am thrown to the ground. I land on my right side and the wind is knocked out of me a little but I still can't stop laughing. I laugh so hard that no noise comess out and I can't breathe. I see Two-Bit struggling to hold back his own laughter and that only makes the situation evenot more hilarious.

Two-Bit sits firmly on my chest, "Apologize for interrupting my beauty sleep. Also, do you know that you could've done some serious damage? My butt is one of my best features. It's quite the lady charmer, as you probably already know." He says, wiggling his butt a little to emphasize his point.

"Get off of me, you're too heavy." I groan. "And the only thing I've seen you do with your butt is sit around all day and watch Mickey Mouse.

Two-Bit laughs and pins my arms behind me, "Take it back."

"Never." I say before I grunt and push Two-Bit off of me and pin him onto the ground.

Two-Bit tries to push me off him and we wrestle on the ground for a while, trying to see who would be the first to give end up rolling around and knocking into almost everything in sight, creating quite the racket. Someone clears their throat and I look up and see Darry, Soda, and Steve standing over us, not looking very happy. I guess Two-Bit and I woke everyone up. "Did you guys really have to fight _now?_ " Darry asks, rubbing his face in frustration. I stand up and reach out a hand to help Two-Bit off the ground.

"We weren't really fighting." I say with a sheepish smile.

"That's it, everyone back to bed! It's still dark out, dammit!" Darry yells, stomping up the stairs. Soda and Steve slink away and Two-Bit and I go back up to my room. Darry and Two-Bit both fall asleep on the floor and I get the bed to myself. Before I go to bed, I smile to myself, happy over the idea that maybe things could go back to normal. No matter how happy I am, I can't shake the nagging feeling of guit I have for almost leaving. I toss and turn all night, wondering if I should tell Darry.


	9. Chapter 9

I sit up quickly, startled awake by a loud thud. I throw back the covers and run into the hallway to find out where the hell that noise came from. I rush into Darry's room and I find that no one is in there and that the bed is already made so I assume that Darry already left for work. I hurry into the bathroom, the only other room left to check on this floor, and am met with chaos. There are shampoo bottles and razors scattered all over the floor and everything is covered in water. I look up and see Soda sitting halfway in the tub, fully clothed, and the shower head swinging beside him, turned up to the highest setting.

"Soda, what the hell are you doing?" I ask as I run over to him, slipping on the wet tile floor as I go. The first thing I do is reach over and turn the water off and then I take a second to watch as Soda frantically struggles to pull himself up. His legs are already dangling over the edge of the tub so I reach down, grab Soda by the wrist, and pull him onto the floor. Soda yelps in surprise when he hits the ground but then he lets his body go limp. I can tell Soda is exhausted by the way he is panting and I let him relax for a minute to catch his breath. I step over Soda and walk to the linen closet in the hallway to grab some towels. When I come back, Soda seems calmer but he still hasn't said a word to me.

I drop one of the folded towels on the ground and Soda flinches at the sudden noise. "Sorry." I say, sitting on the towel so my butt doesn't get wet. I silently hand the other towel to Soda and he takes it but doesn't start drying himself off yet. "So, are you going to tell me why I found you stuck in a bathtub?" I ask, leaning back against the tub before I look over at Soda.

Soda's cheeks turn red and I can tell that he's embarrassed. Without thinking, I reach out and am about to put my hand on his but I pull back at the last second. I just don't feel right trying to comfort someone who tried to choke me to death. Soda notices this and smiles sadly, "Ponyboy, you know I would never intentionally hurt you. You're my little brother."

I laugh, shocked that he could say that. "Soda, you do realize that you tried to kill me, right? The funny thing is, you might've succeeded if Darry hadn't come home when he did." I say, looking away from Soda as the memories of that horrible day come flooding back. I gingerly run my fingers over the bruises on my throat and Soda touches my forearm with a shaking hand. I look up at him again and notice that he is crying.

"Ponyboy, that wasn't me. That was some twisted, tortured man who was in a lot of pain and who let his demons get the better of him. Pony, you have to understand, I am not the same person. I am fighting to get better but there are some things I can't control. I can't control if I freeze up because some sight or some smell reminds me of Vietnam. I can't control if I am thrown back into a situation where all I can see are three enemy soldiers pinning me down when, in reality, I'm just sitting on the couch." Soda rants.

"I think you would be changed too if you saw what went on over there and I hope with everything I got that you never have to. I'm trying so hard to get back to myself but between my leg and my disorder, it's just been so hard." Soda finishes, his voice cracking at the end. My heart goes out to Soda as I watch him fall apart before my eyes. I watch him cry so hard he can't catch his breath, watch him shake like he'd just been electrocuted and I can't help but be reminded of myself a few days ago. I hesitantly reach over and pull Soda into a hug and nothing has ever felt more right.

"You didn't have to tell me all that but, boy, am I glad you did. I was scared I would never get my brother back but here you are. I've missed you so much, Soda." I say, squeezing Soda's shoulder tightly. "What do you know about Curly?" I ask.

"Curly? What's up with Curly?" Soda asks, sitting up and pulling out of my grasp.

I let my arms drop, I guess Darry didn't tell him. "Nothing, nothing at all." I say, knowing that if I told Soda he would blame himself for Curly's death. "So are you going to tell me why I found you fully clothed in the tub?" I ask, laughing a little.

Soda chuckles slightly but I can tell he is embarrassed. "Well I'm allowed to take a shower yet because of my leg so Darry usually helps me wash my hair. But, Darry had to leave early today so I tried to do it myself but I guess I can't balance very well anymore."

"Soda, I'm sorry I've been avoiding you but you shouldn't be afraid to ask me for anything. You'll get used to your leg in time but don't be afraid to ask for help." I say and Soda nods reluctantly. "Alright, tilt your head back." I say before I turn on the water. I rinse Soda's hair with the extendable shower head, wash it with shampoo and conditioner, and then I rinse it one more time. I turn off the water and hand Soda a towel to dry off with. Then, I start to put all of the bottles and razors that are scattered around on the floor back in the shower before I mop up all the water with a couple more towels.

"Thanks, Ponyboy." Soda says, looking relieved.

"Anytime, big brother. Now let's go downstairs and get some breakfast." I say, reaching out a hand to help Soda up. For once, things with Soda are good, really good, and I can't help but smile.

* * *

 **Hey guys, I'm so sorry that I haven't posted in a while. I've just been so busy but thank you to everyone who has kept reading. Also, I know that the last few chapters have been fillers but they are necessary to the story. I hope to update again today with a more action packed chapter. Thank you so much! Oh, and to answer a question a guest reviewer had, (I'm sorry I don't know how to answer you any other way but this) Soda had an above the knee amputation which means that that part of his leg isn't there. Thanks again for all of your awesome reviews:)**


	10. Chapter 10

I sit down at the kitchen table and realize that I've been out of school for over a week now and wonder how I could've let myself go this badly. A few years ago, I would've hated missing even one day of school but now I don't care. I have much bigger things to worry about. My teachers are pretty understanding of my situation so they let me do most of my school work at home. Still, I should probably go in tomorrrow and make an appearance so I can keep up my grades. I turn and look at Soda sleeping on the couch and wonder who will be able to take care of him while I'm at school and while Darry and Steve are at work. Two-Bit maybe? What other sixteen year old has to worry about this stuff?

I'm dragged out of my thoughts when I hear a light knock on the door. I stand up and open the door as quickly as I can, trying not to wake Soda. Cherry is standing in front of me, a blubbering mess of tears. "Cherry, what the hell is going on?" I ask, taking in the bruises on her frail wrists and on her cheek. I guess not a lot has changed with her. "Which asshole was it this time?"

Cherry's sobs get louder and I shut the door behind me and lead her down to the top step of the porch. I sit down and she follows before she leans against my shoulder. I lift up my arm and pull her into a gentle hug, my tall frame dwarfing her small one. This happens more often then one would think. Cherry has a history of coming to me in tears after some jerk hits her or tries to take advantage of her and it makes me sick to my stomach. Most of the time the guys were drunk but she'll never tell me who it was that hurt her because she knows I would punch their lights out. Cherry thinks she doesn't deserve anyone better than those drunks but she does, she really does. She deserves everyone's very best. Cherry is kind and sweet and understanding and none of those monsters are worth her time. They are as worthless as the shit someone would find on the bottom of their shoes.

"Why do you keep hanging around these scumbags?" I ask but receive no answer. She never answers that question. I feel Cherry shaking next to me so I unzip my sweatshirt and I put it around her shoulders. I've learned that nothing can calm Cherry down in situations like this so you just have to wait it out and be there for support. I hate watching people fall apart. "It's okay. It'll get better, I promise. I'm right here with you." I say, rubbing small circles on her back to try and comfort her. "Just tell me who did this and I'll put an end to it all. You can't keep letting them do this to you. They're monsters."

Cherry smiles sadly. "I guess things are bad on both sides of the sunset after all, Pone." She says softly and I'm taken back to the night on the hill before the rumble. After that, I become lost in my thoughts and can't bring myself to say anything more. Eventually, Cherry takes a deep breath and wipes her eyes on my T-shirt. She stands up, pulls me up after her, and we walk into the kitchen together. Cherry sits down in a chair and puts her head on the table and I do what I always used to do when one of us are upset, I make us some hot chocolate.

I bring our mugs over to the table a few minutes later and we head up to my room and sit on the floor. Cherry leans against me and I reach up and grab my copy of _At Bertram's Hotel by Agatha Christie._ I just got this one from the library. I open the book and begin reading the first chapter aloud. We sit on the floor, reading and drinking our hot chocolate together like we usually do and I feel so at ease. Suddenly, I have a thought and I stop reading."Cherry, you're it." I say.

"I'm what?" She asks, looking up at me.

"The last best friend I've got. I couldn't handle it if I lost you too. Please stop hanging around those guys." I say with a heavy heart.

"I promise I'll be okay, Ponyboy." She says, squeezing my hand. Somehow, I just don't believe her but I keep reading anyway, trying to hold onto the last shred of normalcy and routine I have left in my life.

...

When I wake up to the jarring sound of my alarm clock at seven thirty in the morning, I'm lying on the floor next to Cherry but there is a wall of pillows between us. The gang knows about Cherry's whole situation and Darry is fine with Cherry staying the night. Still, Darry manages to be very overprotective even though he knows Cherry and I ain't romantic or anything like that. I stretch my arms out in front of me before I throw back the covers and start walking to the bathroom. I brush my teeth and I fix my hair before I head back to my room and I throw on a T-shirt and a clean pair of jeans. I grab my backpack off the floor and I rush down the stairs and into the kitchen where I write a note to Darry. _Darry, I have to go to school today. Please ask Two-Bit to stay with Soda. Love, Ponyboy._ I leave the note on the kitchen counter and then I make two pieces of toast and butter them.

I run back upstairs, my backpack rustling noisily against my shirt, and shake Cherry awake gently. "Cherry, can you give me a ride to school?" I ask, knowing very well that she wouldn't be going in today. She rubs her eyes and nods and I smile before I give her a piece if toast. "Thanks." I say, running downstairs and out the door to her tuff car. A few minutes later, she walks out the front door and climbs into the driver's seat and we're on our way to school. When we get there, I squeeze Cherry's hand. "Hey, have a good day today." I say and she smiles.

"I will, you too. I might stop by later. Bye, Pony." She says, waving at me. I get out of the car and watch her drive away. In a great mood, I turn around and am about to head into school when a guy I've never seen before flips open a 's definitely a Soc. My stomach turns to ice as he takes a step closer. I whirl around am about to take off down the street when he digs the knife into my side. White hot pain sears through me and black spots dot in front of my eyes. "This is your first warning, don't go near her again. Welcome to life in Tulsa, Oklahoma buddy." He says, laughing to himself a little before he pockets the blade and walks into school.


	11. Chapter 11

The pain of takes my breath away but then I think of Cherry and I get angry, very angry. My anger soon turns into adrenaline so I gather all the strength I have left and I stand up. I stand up and chase after the guy, holding my side tightly as blood continues to stain my shirt. He obviously didn't think that I would follow him because he stops in the middle of the hallway to talk to someone. I surge forward and grab the guy by the back of his neck and I slam him face first into the wall. He yelps in surprise and I grab the collar of his nice shirt and I throw him onto the ground. There is a loud smacking sound when he hits the tile floor but he still tries to scramble to his feet.

I put my foot on the guy's face and press down, _hard._ "Are you going to stop struggling and listen to me now, asshole?" I ask, suddenly feeling very dizzy.

"Fuck you, get off of me you-" the guy starts to say while clawing at my ankle. I press my foot down harder and shift positions so I'm leaning somewhat on his neck. A strangled noise escapes his throat and he stops fighting me. I watch as he struggles to breathe, watch as his chest rises and falls faster and faster as panic sets in and, for the first time ever, I don't mind hurting someone.

Normally, I hate fighting but this guy has probably been the one hurting Cherry and he tried to _kill_ me just a few minutes ago. _I don't even know who this guy is!_ At this point, a little bit of a crowd has started to form. People love fights in these parts but they know better then to intervene. Everyone has started to get rowdy and have started yelling things so I'm surprised the teachers haven't showed up yet.

I feel like I might pass out any second now but I still lower my voice a little as I growl: "Good, now that you're listening, I want you to know that you will never be allowed to go near Cherry again. If you do try, you're going to have to go through me first. I wouldn't bet on your switchblade or your posse to get you out." The guy nods as best he can and his grip on my foot tightens as he continues to fight for air. I lift my foot up off of his face and he gasps and flops around like a fish out of water, struggling to breathe as he tries to climb to his feet.

I turn on my heel and limp outside, feeling like it's getting harder and harder for me to stay upright. Once I turn the corner and am out of sight, I let myself collapse in a heap on the ground and I wince as a wave of pain slices through me. I close my eyes and try to think of a plan of action.

"Ponyboy?" Someone asks and my eyes snap open. I look up and see my school buddy, Michael, standing in front of me. He's on my track team. "Hey, what happened?" He asks, kneeling down next to me.

"Some Soc slashed me. Can I please borrow your car? I really need to get home. I'll have it back by lunch, I promise." I say, showing him my bloody side to prove it.

"Whoa man, are you okay? Do you need me to drive you?" He asks, taking the keys out of his jean pocket.

I shake my head, "No, I'll be fine, thanks. This kind of thing happens more often then you would think." I say with a weak laugh.

Michael nods in understanding. "Alrighty, here ya go. Taks it easy on her." He says, tossing me the keys to his car. Michael's car is so old and rusty that you can't tell what type of car it is anymore but boy am I grateful for that piece of junk right now. "It was good seeing ya, I gotta go and catch Mary before first period." He says, smiling from ear to ear. Mary is the girl Michael has been crushing on.

"Thanks, see ya 'round." I say, forcing the best _it's no b_ _ig deal_ smile onto my face until he turns around to leave. The smile drops off my face and I groan as I let my head fall back against the brick wall behind me. I don't know how the hell I'm going to do this. It takes a while but I inch my way up the wall until I'm in a position where I can stand up easily. I shuffle over to Mike's car which is on the other side of the lotime and it is agony. I lower myself slowly into the vehicle and I wince when I fall onto the seat but I shut the door and turn on the engine anyways.

The hardest part about all of this is, whenever I got into trouble and I didn't want Darry to know, I would head over to Curly's house and lay low for a while. Or, I would go to Dally and he would know exactly what to do. I have never felt more alone in my entire life. I let my head fall onto the steering wheel and decide to start driving over to Curly's old place and see if I can think of anything. When I reach the house, I shudder slightly when I think of what happened the last few times I came here. I look down and notice that there is blood through my fingers and I know that I have to do something quick.

I take a deep breath and I force myself to step out of the car. I don't even bother to shut the carea door. I stumble up the stairs and through the front door, knowing very well that it would be unlocked just like my door always is. I lean against the wall because I suddenly feel very lightheaded and then, a few moments later, I walk into the batbroom. No one seems to be home so I reach up into the medicine cabinet above the sink and I grab the needle and thread that I forced Curly to keep up there for emergency situations. I think it's come in handy a few times. I pull a lighter out of my pocket and I begin to sterilize the needle butt I start having flashbacks to the last time I did this and I can't seem to keep my hands steady.

I feel nautious and so I lean heavily on the sink and look into the mirror. "You can do this." I say to myself. I finish setting everything up and I sit on the closed lid of the toilet. I plunge the needle into my skin and wince as I pull it through the other side of the wound, as I feel the thread tugging at my flesh. I do two more stitches and then I can't bear it anymore and I have to take a break. There is blood everywhere and this is probably the grossest thing I've probably ever done. Sleep iso pulling at my mind and I want to give in so badly.

Suddenly,.Tim appears in the doorway, panting and out of breath. I'm so out of it that I didn't hear him come in. "Ooh, good grief! I thought there was a robber in the house!" He says, running a hand over his face in relief. "What are you doing?" He asks, studying me, not surprised in the slightest to see me sitting here. "Damn, are you trying to stitch yourself up?" He asks curiously rather than with worry.

"Key word trying to." I say, chuckling weakly, my whole body shaking with the effort.

"You're doing it all wrong." Tim says, running out of the room. He comes back with a bottle of whiskey thirty seconds later. "You ain't got no pain relief." He says, grinning. I smile and take the bottle even though I can't feel anything anyways with all the adrenaline pumping through me. I take a swig of whiskey and am almost afraid that the alcohol is going to come pouring out of the hole in my stomach. I keep drinking, trying desperately to push my thoughts away. Tim takes over the stitching and is quiet with concentration. He's used to this kind of stuff by now.

A few sips later, the bottle feels heavy in my hand and I let my head drop, let sleep start to take over. Right before I pass put, I hear Tim'say voice. "Done." He says. I feel the whiskey being lifted out of my hand and I hear the clink of glass against a hard surface. "I got him Curly, I won't let anything happen to him. He saved my life, I'm just returning the favor." I hear Tim say finally and I begin to relax as a warm feeling spreads throughout my body. Then, my world goes black.


	12. Chapter 12

"Ponyboy! Wake up!" Someone says while shaking my shoulder roughly.

I open my eyes slowly, the throbbing pain in my head tempting me to keep them closed. I blink a couple of times to clear my blurry vision and I see Soda and Darry hovering over me. "What's going on?" I croak, rolling over so I'm facing them. I wince when I feel a sharp pain shoot up my side but I do my best to hide it.

"What's going on is that Tim Shepard called us at ten o'clock tonight saying that you were passed out at his place! What happened at school today? We were all worried sick when you didn't come home! You didn't even call!" Darry exclaims, running a hand down his face.

"I'm sorry." I say, my eyes going wide when I realize that I'm not at Tim's anymore. The last thing I remember is Tim walking into the bathroom with some whiskey. I must've had a sip too many.

"Sorry? That's all you have to say?" Darry asks. I sit up slowly and put my head in my hands. I feel like I'm on fire and my headache isn't getting any better.

"Darry, lay off for a second. Ponyboy, are you okay?" Soda asks. "You look like crap."

"I'm fine. I just wasn't feeling so hot today so I crashed at Tim's. His place is closer to school anyways." I say. I hold onto the edge of the bed and I push myself up into a standing position. I notice that Tim had given me one of Curly's old shirts to wear and I silently thank him.

"Oh no, young man. You're not going anywhere until you explain exactly what happened!" Darry yells, pushing me back down. I sit down, hard, and I guess I moved too quickly because I feel a rough tug on my side. A strangled noise escapes my throat and I reflexively put my hand where my stitches are. I think a few of them just ripped. I feel something warm under my fingers and my worst fears are confirmed.

"Woah, what's the matter?" Darry asks, his expression shifting immediately from anger to concern.

"Nothing! I was just a little surprised when you pushed me, that's all. Darry, I'm sorry for skipping school and it won't happen again. I just really need to do something right now. I borrowed my friend Michael's car and I never brought it back. I really need to go." I say, my stomach churning at the idea of Darry finding out about this.

"Move your hand, Pony." Soda says, watching me carefully.

"What, why?" I ask.

Darry reaches over and pulls my hand away from my side and he freezes when he sees the blood on my shirt. Soda looks away.

"Soda call the doctor." Darry says, moving to the side so that Soda can't see anything.

"Can do." Soda says, and I hear the relief in his voice. Moments like these are hard for him. I think he still gets bad flashbacks. Anyways, our doctor was a close friend of our parents and he doesn't charge us for our visits. Plus, he's easy to get to because he lives right next door. When Soda is gone, Darry sits down next to me. He gently pushes my hair back so it isn't in my face.

"Ponyboy, you're burning hot!" Darry says. I don't respond as I lean back against the pillows and close my eyes. I'm so tired. This has probably been one of the longest days of my life. Darry continues to run his hands through my hair and all I want to do is sleep. I hear the door downstairs open and then I hear footsteps hurrying up the stairs. "Ponyboy, how did this happen?" Darry asks.

"I was protecting Cherry." I say and Darry goes silent. A few seconds later, Dr. Lane walks into the room. Darry gets up and he says something to the dotor in a hushed voice. I open my eyes and the the doctor finally turns to me. "Hello, Ponyboy! It's been so long! Let me have a look at you, okay?" He says, his voice cheerful. He does the routine checkup and then he puts the thermometer in my mouth. "Son, you have a 102 degree fever." He says. "Darry, I need you to go over to my house and ask my wife for my black bag. She'll know what I mean." Dr. Lane says seriously.

I watch as Darry leaves the room in a hurry and I suddenly get very nervous. I don't like doctors. Dr. Lane lifts up my shirt and makes an unhappy noise after examining the wound om my side. "Hmm, it seems a lot of these stitches have come loose so I'll have to redo them. This will only take a few minutes." He says. Then, he takes some scissors out of his bag and I have to look away. I can't watch this. He cuts away at my old stitches and I suddenly grow very nautious at the strange sensation.

Suddenly, Soda comes into the room. "Soda, you shouldn't watch this." I say, doing my best to keep the nervousness out of my voice.

"Shh, don't you worry about me, little buddy." He says quietly before he sits in a chair next to the bed. Soda reaches out and grabs my trembling hand. "Everything will be alright." He says reassuringly and I squeeze his hand tightly.

"You're lucky this hadn't started healing yet or this situation could've been a lot worse. I'm almost done closing everything up now." Dr. Lane says. Soda squeezes my hand back to keep me calm and then, a few minutes later, it was all over. "Alright, I'm all done! We just have to wait for your brother. You did a great job." Dr. Lane says, putting gauze over everything and taping it down. He puts the needle, the old stiches, all of the gauze he used to mop up the blood, and his gloves in a small plastic bag before he throws it all in the trash. "You wouldn't believe how many stab wound cases I've seen while working at the hospital. They've been short staffed recently. Now, I hope you don't mind but I'm just going to wash my hands." He says, slipping out of the room.

Soda stands up from the chair and lays down on the bed next to me. In a silent gesture of comfort, he puts his arm under me so that I can put my head on his shoulder. "You can go to sleep now, I've got you." He whispers.

"Thanks, Soda." I say quietly and I realize just how grateful I am to have him back. I close my eyes and am about to fall asleep when I hear Darry run up the stairs. "Dr. Lane!" Darry calls. I listen in on his conversation with the doctor.

"Thank you so much." Darry says.

"Anytime, you know that. Just make sure to give him one of these pills twice a day so nothing gets infected."

"Alright, thanks again."

"Wait. Darry, have you ever thought of a boys' home for Ponyboy? I really think you should consider what's best for him here." Dr. Lane says softly and I feel my stomach drop.


	13. Chapter 13

I lay next to Soda in silence, shocked by the harsh reality of my situation. I'm used to living under the thick, suffocating fear that one stupid mistake could have me yanked out of my home faster than I could blink. I'm used to Darry staying up late worrying about me when I'm even five minutes past curfew, worrying that I wouldn't come home and he couldn't call the cops to find me. But, somehow, it's like a slap to the face every single time someone brings up my living situation. Why would they take me away from people that love me the most, take me away from the home that I've lived in for my entire life just to give me away to a bunch of stargers? Darry and Soda are doing the best they can, they're still learning how to adjust to life without parents too. It's not even been three years since our parents died! No fourteen year old should have to watch as everyone he holds closest falls apart and no fourteen year old should have to pick up the pieces of not only his own life, but the shattered lives of everyone around him.

Now, at sixteen, I have to watch as my brother struggles to navigate through everyday life without a high school education, without a job, without a _leg_ and with emotional scars so deep I don't think he'll ever be the same again. My other brother is a guy who hates his job, who hates his social status, and whose family drags him down. Steve and Two-Bit are changing so fast that I don't know what to think about them anymore and I have a best friend who can't get out of her abusive relationships. My other best friend died barely a week ago! How can I leave at a time like this? No one is okay anymore. Darry's eyes go wide and he pulls the doctor into the hallway and I feel Soda shiver next to me. Taking a deep breath, I vow that today would be the day I would start putting things back together again.

* * *

Hey everyone! This isn't even close to a full chapter but this is a beginning of Chapter Thirteen. Yes, I'm still alive haha. I'm so sorry, I know I haven't updated in forever but things have just been so crazy and I haven't been inspired to write but I'm slowly getting back into the swing of things. Thank you so much to anyone who reads this:) I'm hoping to have the rest of this chapter posted this week.


	14. Chapter 14

**Steve's POV:**

I walk quietly to the doorway of Ponyboy and Soda's room and see Ponyboy curled up in a ball, fast asleep. Even from here, I could tell he was in a lot of pain. I look next to him and see Soda sitting on the edge of the bed, sobs racking through his body. Soda bites his fist to try and keep quiet but I can see that he is losing it. I haven't been the same since I got back from 'Nam either and I think seeing all of this just confirms why I had to do it. I called Social Services and they would be here by tomorrow. I slink away with guilt and regret coursing through my veins before I walk out of the Curtis household and decide that maybe it would be better if I stayed away for a while.

 **Ponyboy's POV:**

When I wake up the bed is empty and I sigh in relief. I don't know if I could handle seeing Soda just yet. He was almost back to his normal self and I think it would break my heart if I saw him today and he had retreated back to his shell. I sit up slowly with an aching pain in my side and I suddenly feel dizzy. Something isn't right here. I stand up and run to the bathroom and I almost don't make it in time to the toilet before I throw up. There's nothing in my stomach to throw up because I haven't eaten a lot in the last few hours but still I can't stop dry heaving. Suddenly something warm and metallic runs through the back of my throat and I throw it up into the toilet. I begin to panic when I realize it's blood. A lot of it, too. I lean against the wall and wipe my mouth weakly before I begin to cry.

"Ponyboy, the agency is here!" Darry calls from downstairs but I can't bring myself to answer. "Pony, come downstairs please!" I hear Darry say and when I don't answer, I hear Darry's footsteps coming up the stairs and I begin to panic. I'm about to shut the bathroom door but Darry reaches it first. "Oh my God!" Darry yells, taking in the scene in front of him. "SODA!" he screams and Soda limps up the stairs one at a time with the help of his crutches. Darry blocks Soda from entering the room so he doesn't freak out and says with a shaking voice, "I need you to call an ambulance right now."

"Darry, what's going on?" He asks.

"SODA, DO IT NOW!" Darry yells and I see Soda flinch from my position on the ground.

"Is it Ponyboy?"Soda asks, trying to push past Darry.

"Soda, please!" Darry says, desperation in his voice. Soda makes a panicked noise and hurries back downstairs to the kitchen. Darry turns back to me before he sits on the floor and scoops me up into his arms.

"Ponyboy, help is on the way, it's alright. You're okay." He says, rocking me back and forth. I cry into his shoulder, completely overwhelmed and panicked.

"What's going on here?" A woman's voice asks before she appears in the doorway, looking very official and business like in her pencil skirt and blazer. I guess she's the woman from the agency.

"Emily, something is wrong with my little brother and I don't know what. I came in here and he had blood dripping out of his mouth and I had Soda call an ambulance. This really isn't a great time, can we have this meeting later?" Darry asks, running his hand through my hair comfortingly.

"I'm sorry but I'm afraid I'll have to investigate this so I'll be going with you to the hospital." She says, making a note in her little blue notebook. Darry lets his head fall backwards and hits it against the wall in frustration.

"I don't mean to sound rude but why are you here? We weren't due for a visit for a few more weeks." He asks.

"We got a complaint from an anonymous caller and we were asked to come out for an early visit and I'm glad they called because, so far, this visit isn't going your way." She says. Suddenly we hear the front door open and the sound of heavy footsteps.

"He's upstairs." I hear Soda say and then the paramedics come rushing upstairs with a stretcher. The agency lady, Emily, jumps out of the way and three men enter the room.

"What's the problem here?" The first man asks, kneeling down next to Darry and I.

"Well, my little brother here..." Darry begins but I tune out. My heart starts beating faster at the thought of having to go to the hospital. A second man kneels down and starts taking my vitals but stops when he sees the expression on my face.

"Hey, you're going to be okay. We don't bite and I promise we'll take good care of you." He says and I wipe a tear off my face. I hate crying in front of strangers.

"A switchblade?" I hear the third guy ask and Darry nods. "My guess is internal bleeding then. Let's get going."

The funny thing is, I was less worried about the words interrnal bleeding than I was about what Emily was writing down in her book when I looked over. She looked smug and somehow content as if she had finally found what she came for. Darry shifts positions and let the three guys put me on the stretcher.

"Darry!" I say, reaching out for him as I'm lifted off the ground.

"I'm not going anywhere, I promise. I'm going to ride in the ambulance with you." He says but somehow I'm not comforted by his words. I swallow the lump in my throat and close my eyes, trying to push away all of my anxiety. I feel myself being carried down the stairs and I start to shake. I don't want to go to the hospital.

"Ponyboy?" Soda questions and I open my eyes. "Soda, I'm okay. Don't worry about me." I tell him but I can see him start to lose his cool. I'm taken out the front door and I want to go back. Soda needs me but there's nothing I can do to help him right now.


	15. Chapter 15

I groan at the pain in my stomach when the nurses move me from the stretcher to the hospital bed and I reach out for Darry before I realize he isn't here. He's being questioned by Emily and so is Soda. I feel myself spiraling into a panic and I struggle to regain control of my breathing. "Let me through, goddamn it!" Someone yells pushing through the crowd of medical personnel. I laugh weakly, I've never been so happy to see Two-Bit in my life. "Hey, Pone, you look like shit." Two-Bit says jokingly but I know it's probably true. "I know I'm not Darry or Soda but I'm here and I'm all you got."

"No, it's okay. Thanks for being here." I say even though it's getting harder and harder for me to breathe.

"Son, are you family? If not, I need to ask you to leave because we have to take this young man in for some tests." The doctor asks impatiently.

"I'd like to see you try to remove me from this room, buddy." Two-Bit says as he sits down in a chair next to my bed. The doctor rolls his eyes and continues his poking and prodding but he lets Two-Bit stay. "Alright, we're going to sedate you so that we can perform an endoscopy to find out if you have any upper gastrointestinal bleeding." He says. "If we find anything then we will have to perform emergency surgery."

I sit up and try and get off the bed. "Ponyboy, I can't let you leave. Your brother signed papers up front saying that he would let us do what whatever it would take medically to get you healthy again since you are still a minor." The doctor says. I read the name on his coat, _Dr. Lancaster._

"I'm not having surgery." I say weakly but the nurses push me back onto the bed and tie me down.

Two-Bit putsa hand on my shoulder, "Pony, don't worry. There just going to fix you back up and then you can go back home. Darry, Soda, Steve, and I will be right here when you wake up."

The nurse puts an IV in my arm and squeezes the bag it's attached to. I feel my muscles relax and I know they are putting me to sleep and there is nothing I can do about it. That's the last thing I remember before my world goes dark.

...

I open my eyes and a moan escapes my lips. I feel like I got hit by a bus. I bring my knees to my chest as closely as I can and wait. Pain and nausea rack my body and I'm immediately relieved when the nurse walks into my room. "Hey, how are you feeling?" She asks in a soft, soothing voice.

"I feel like I'm going to throw up." I tell her and she nods and walks out of the room. She comes back with some ice and a needle. She injects the needle into my IV bag and hands me the cup of ice. "Here, these will make you feel a lot better." The nurse says before taking some tests. "Well, everything looks good! The doctors found the source of the bleeding and they sealed up the perforation in your stomach. You just need to take it easy and get better now, okay? I'll send your visitors back in a little while."

"Thanks." I croak and she walks out of the room. I put the ice chips on the bed side table and pull the blankets over my head. I can't eat anything right now.

'Ponyboy?" Someone says and I don't pull the blankets off of my face because I know it's Cherry. I'm just not ready to see her yet. "How are you feeling?" She asks and I feel her sit at the bottom of the bed. I sigh and pull the covers off of my face knowing very well that she wasn't going anywhere.

"I don't feel anything," I say, "They've got me on some pretty heavy pain medication." I say and Cherry laughs. "Cherry, why are you here?" I ask, suddenly realizing that there was no way she could've known I was sick if someone didn't call her.

"Darry called and asked me to stay with you. They're still talking with the agency lady." Cherry says, trying to avoid making eye contact with me.

"Cherry, what's going on?" I ask. "Don't even think about lying, I can tell when you're hiding something."

"Ponyboy, I don't want to upset you." She says. "I have to go to the bathroom but I'll be right back."

Cherry starts to walk away but I grab her arm. "Cherry, please just tell me." I say.

"Okay, okay!" She says, turning around to face me. "Pony, Child Protective Services wants to take your brothers to court and they want to take you out of Darry's custody." Cherry says before she squeezes my hand comfortingly, "Hey, don't worry, there's no way Darry would let them take you away."

"That's it." I say, unclipping the IV out of my arm. I force myself legs off the bed and when I sit up, I get a sudden head rush and have to pause.

"Ponyboy, what the heck are you doing?" Cherry whisper yells anxiously.

"I'm getting out of this hell hole." I say, grabbing my clothes from where they lay neatly folded in a bag on the bedside table.

"Ponyboy, get back in bed." Cherry commands.

Every sudden movement is agonizing but I keep getting dressed anyways. I didn't come here with any shoes so I put my bare feet down on the cold tile floor and I stand up. My legs immediately starts shaking and I don't think I can take another step. "I'm getting a nurse." Cherry says, as she turns to go.

"Your crazy freaking ex-boyfriend is the reason I'm in here, can you at least give me a chance to get out of here please?" I say as i take another slow, burning step.

"What?" Cherry asks in disbelief. Whoops, I had forgotten that she didn't know anything about what happened at school.

I ignore her and continue with my rant. "Cherry, in all my life I've never been without my brothers and I'm not about to start now." I say. "Cherry, please help me, please! I can't do this!" I beg and I feel anxiety building in my chest. Breathlessly, I lean against the bed for support as I struggle to control my breathing. I begin to panic at the lack of air and a strangled noise escapes my throat. Cherry rushes over to me and forces me to sit down.

"Ponyboy, you're having a panic attack. Breathe Pony, just breathe. Focus on my voice." Cherry says, putting her hands on my shoulders. Involuntarily, I start crying and Cherry hugs me tightly. I bury my face in her neck and focus on each and every breath until my breathing starts coming naturally again.

"Thank you." I say quietly, leaning back and wiping my eyes. I wince when I go to stand up again so Cherry helps me out of bed so I can get back in it and lay comfortably. I pull the covers over myself and try and relax. Just then, the nurse walks in and notices my outfit change.

"He had a moment but everything is okay now." Cherry explains. "Pony, I'm going to go to the bathroom now. I'll be right back." I nod and sigh as she walks away. The nurse tugs my shirt off so that it doesn't stick to my bandages and she plugs the IV back into my arm. By the time the nurse is done her series of tests, the drugs start to kick in and a sense of peacefuless washes over me.

I don't know when the nurse left or when Cherry came back but when I open my eyes, Cherry and I are the only ones left in the room. Cherry grabs my hand, "Pony, you can get through this. I'll be right here with you."

"Cherry, can you promise me one thing?"

"Promise you what?"

"Please don't stay with people that don't treat you right." I say softly.

"I won't anymore, I promise." Cherry answers and I know she means it because, this time, one of her terrible relationships has affected more than just her. I nod in satisfaction and a warm feeling runs through me when I realize that pieces of my life are falling back into place.


	16. Chapter 16

"Pony, wake up. You have visitors!" Cherry says, appearing suddenly in the door way. I groan in discomfort when I open my eyes and become extremely dizzy. Cherry wasks quickly over to the side of the bed and bends down so that our eyes are level. "Hey are you okay? I can tell them to back off if you need me to."

I shake my head, "I'm okay, thank you though." She nods in understanding and my brothers walk through the door.

Soda crutches over to me and jumps on the bed, landing hard. I wince at the sudden motion and Darry slaps Sodapop on the back of the head, "Cool it, Pepsi-Cola."

I smile because, for the first time in a long time, things seem normal again. "Hey guys." I croak.

"Hey Pone!" Darry says before reaching over and ruffling my hair. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling much better, I'm just ready to get out of here!" I say with a smile. "The nurse will come by in a few minutes to do a final check in but then I'm free to go." I say but my face falls when Darry grimaces and glances at Soda.

"Ponyboy, that's what we came to tell you. We're allowed to take you home but the state is coming to collect you in a couple of days. They're taking you to a group home until they make a final decision about whether or not we're fit to take care of you." Darry says softly.

I gulp in disbelief.

...

Two years. It's been two whole years since I was first thrown in a group home. I'm eighteen now, my birthday was yesterday. Just like last year, Darry and Soda called but just like last year, I didn't want to talk to them. There are deep feelings of anger and resentment that I carry around when it comes to my brothers. I know it's unfair but, a long time ago, I had convinced myself that Darry and Soda could work their magic and break me outta this joint and I couldn't help but be disappointed when I realized that was never going to happen. Anxiety starts coursing through ny veins and I clench my fists as I try and slow my breathing.

"Ponyboy," Ellie says, pulling my chin up so that I'm forced to look at her. "You're going to be fine, I promise. I'll be out of here in two months and then we can get a place of our own. You only have to last two months on your own. Two months, Pone." She says.

"I don't know if I can Em." I say, my voice cracking. Ever since I've been here, I've had terrible anxiety, horrible nightmares, and have been deeply depressed. I feel my breathing become more and more rapid and wince as every inhale starts to become painful. Ellie puts her hands on both sides of my face and kisses me gently. A warm calm sweeps through me and I find myself being pulled away from my negative thoughts. When Ellie kisses me, I'm home.

"I love you." She whispers.

"I love you more." I say, pulling her close so that she is pressed tightly against me. I squeeze her tightly, burying my face in the crook of her neck as she puts her arms around me. I never want to leave, I want to live in this moment forever. Ellie kisses my forehead, "Stay safe and don't worry too much." I nid before I run my hands through her hair. Then I grab my bags and stand up, kissing her one last time before I walk out the door to my room.

...

Seven minutes. Seven minutes between trains. I sigh and reset the egg timer sitting in my hand. I'm currently nursing an incredible hangover and I haven't slept in days. It's been a week and a half past the two month time period that Emily and I agreed on. Ellie turned eighteen ten days ago and is probably out of the system by now but I haven't heard anything from her. I told her I would be in Tulsa and sent her a letter containing the address of the place I've been renting out. Ellie and I agreed that when we both got out of the group home we were put in, we would meet up and move in together. She hasn't showed up and I'm starting to worry that she never will. I called the house a few days ago and they say Ellie left a while ago and that they don't know where she's been living. My anxiety and depression are spiraling out of control.

I've been timing the trains that run under the foot bridge connecting one side of town to the other. A new train comes by every seven minutes. I can't help but thirst for a way out of this hell hole, a way to escape my anxiety, and a way to escape my suffocating thoughts about Ellie. These damn trains might be my way out, the solution to all of my problems. I stand up and glance at the timer. It's been three minutes. If I jumped now, the worst that would happen was that I would break one or both of my legs. But, if I time it just right, I could end everything right now. It's nice to know that I have the power to control my fate. I swing one leg over the railing and pull myself up onto it. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Shakily, I stand up on the railing and drop the egg timer onto the ground behind me.

"Ponyboy?" Someone asks quietly from behind. Startled, I jump a little and my right foot slips off the rail. A surprised noise escapes my throat and I pitch forward. The person standing behind me grabs the back of my shirt and pulls me backwards and I land on top of them. The wind is knocked out of me and I gasp for breath, panicked. I was never actually going to jump but I almost fell. Every ounce of control I felt just seconds ago is ripped away from me.

"Oh my god." The person says, and I push myself off of them. I turn around and am shocked by who I see.

"Darry?" I ask in disbelief. I scramble to my feet and stumble backwards.

"Take it easy!" He says. My world begins to spin and I think I'm going to be sick.

"Get away from me!" I yell before I turn and sprint away, not bothering to say anything else.

"Hey, wait!" Darry yells, his voice fading more and more with each step. I don't stop running until I'm inside my apartment. I slam and lock the door behind me. I collapse on the floor and in seconds, tears are streaming down my face. I scream in frustration and punch the floor before I reach up and grab a bottle of whiskey off the coffee table. I don't take my mouth off the rim of the bottle until there's nothing left inside. I don't know why I came back here.


	17. Chapter 17

"Ponyboy?" I hear someone call. I open my eyes and com face to face with Darry. "You're okay, don't panic.'" He says softly. I try and sit up so that I can distance myself from my brother but when I try and move, I find that my whole body hurts. I groan and lay back down on the ground. "Don't try and get up yet, you took a pretty bad spill there." I roll slowly onto my back and rub my head, trying desperately to stop the pounding between my eyes.

"Where the hell am I?" I ask, looking up at Darry who is kneeling on the ground next to me. "What are you doing here?"

"You're at our house Ponyboy. You know, the one you grew up in?" Darry reminds me gently.

My face falls but I try to keep as much emotion as I can out of my voice, "It's not my house anymore, I have a place of my own. What the hell am I doing here?"

"Ponyboy, you've obviously been drinking. You came over here yelling about some girl Ellie and then you started cursing me out. I came out to talk to you and you tried to run away from me but instead you fell off the porch. You passed out for a minute or two. Are you hurt?" He asks, worry filling his familiar blue-green eyes.

"Shit. I wasn't thinking clearly, I never wanted to come here." I say angrily, brushing the hair out of my eyes. I prop myself up on my arm and start pushing myself upwards. I wince and Darry reaches out to help me but I swat his hand away. "Don't, Darry. I don't want your help. You lost the right to worry about me years ago." I say and Darry flinches as if I hit him.

"Ponyboy don't be like this, c'mon. I thought about you every day, I never stopped trying to get in touch with you. Most importantly, I never stopped trying to get you out of that group home. Pony, you gave up on us." Darry says, his eyes watering. Darry says that and I feel like I've been punched in the stomach because I know that, in some ways, he's right. I pick myself up off the ground and wince at the shooting pain in my right ankle. My leg gives out and I know it's going to be a pain to walk on.

"Please let me at least give you a ride back, I can tell you're hurt." Darry says quietly, rising to his feet.

"I think I can handle it. I hurt every day for two years in that place. Did they tell you about the nightmares? My anxiety? What about my depression?" I say with a sneer.

Darry looks pained, "I do know and it killed me not to be there. I wanted to help you but I couldn't! I wasn't allowed to see you!"

At that moment, Darry's truck rolls into the driveway and a pretty woman steps out, "Darry, I'm back!" She calls.

I can't but help shoot Darry a dirty look, "Or maybe you just enjoyed me not being around. People always said that I was the one holding you back from living your best life and it looks like they were right. Maybe you didn't try hard enough to see me because you were to busy planning your honeymoon. You know what, I'm glad you're happy now."

"Ponyboy, it isn't like that! Please let me explain." He pleads. I feel my anxiety wrapping around me like a python that's about to kill it's prey and I know I have to get out of here. I turn and limp out of the main gate, each step more painful than the last. I push on and don't stop until I reach the end of the street.

...

After I finally figured out where I was, I was able to get back to my apartment. The second I was inside and had shut the door behind me, I sank to the floor and began to shake uncontrollably. I don't know what to do anymore, I don't know how much longer I can stay in this town without exploding.


	18. Chapter 18

I know I have to talk to Darry, I can't keep running away from my problems. Climbing up the stairs to my old home, I knock lightly on the door. "Just a minute!" Darry yells. The door swings open and Darry appears, leaning casually against the doorframe, letting out a big yawn. He straightens up when he sees me, "Hey, Pone. What are you doing up so early?"

When I look into Darry's eyes, I notice that I'm almost as tall as him now. "Darry, can I talk to you for a second?" I ask hesitantly.

"Sure thing, come on in. Ponyboy, this could be your home too if you wanted it to be. And the door is always open, you know that." Darry says softly and I can tell he's upset. I nod and give Darry a polite smile but somehow the thought of living here again just doesn't feel right.

Darry leads me into the kitchen and I notice that not much has changed around here besides a few furniture upgrades. I stand by the kitchen table, shifting back and forth awkwardly, not knowing what to do with myself. Darry starts making himself some coffee and turns around to address me. "Coffee?" he offers but I shake my head.

"Darry, just quit it alright? I know you're probably upset about yesterday and me coming here today is just as hard for me as it is for you." I say, wanting to get right down to business. I feel my hands shake slightly and I wish I had brought some whiskey with me to take the edge off. Darry's looks me up and down and I can tell he's trying to get a read on me, see if he can tell what I'm thinking by the way I'm acting, by the way I'm carrying myself. It's a habit he never broke I guess. I've watched Darry use this move on people countless times so I shove my hands in my pockets and stand up straighter to give Darry less to work with.

Darry notices my sudden movements and makes eye contact with me again, smirking slightly, knowing very well that his little mind reading trick isn't going to work on me today. "Darry, I didn't want to come over here in the first place but I thought I owed you an apology. I was drunk and wasn't thinking, I honestly didn't mean all of what I said. I'm guessing you're probably worried about me but I'm here to tell you not to be. I've changed and can handle being on my own. Also, I don't know how much longer I'm going to stick around and I didn't want your last impression of me to be of some drunk fool. I know you have your own life now and I didn't mean to come barging into it." I say quickly, not breaking eye contact with Darry the whole time I spoke. As much as I hate to admit it, I want Darry's last impression of me to be a good one because I guess deep down I've always been looking for Darry's approval.

When I finish saying my piece, I notice that Darry looks sad. "Ponyboy, you're talking as if we're in some fancy business meeting, as if we're two strangers sitting across a table from each other. Ponyboy, I _raised_ you for crying out loud! I want you to be honest with me! I know that you meant what you said yesterday and that's all I wanted you to do. I just want you to be open with me! You shut your family out for two years and now you're acting as if you've been gone for ten!" Darry says loudly, throwing his hands in the air out of frustration.

"Darry, I'm not ready to talk about that stuff with you yet. Those were some of the darkest days of my life. The only thing I will tell you is that out of all of that darkness, I found the best thing that has ever happened to me. Her name is Ellie. She's my family now and I want you to understand that. I know what happened wasn't your fault, I know you couldn't interfere with government orders but I guess I was more than just a little disappointed when I realized that Superman couldn't save me this time around." I say, choking up a little at my use of Darry's nickname.

"Ponyboy, please don't shut us out again. I get that you love this girl a lot but what I want _you_ to understand is that those two years were hell for Soda and I too. We never stopped thinking about you, we never stopped worrying about you and we never stopped loving you! We tried to visit, we tried to call. Why, why wouldn't you let us in?" Darry asks, and a pang of remorse runs through me when his eyes start watering. Suddenly, I'm taken off guard when something small comes sprinting down the hallway.

"Daddy!" It yells as it launches itself at Darry. That's when I realize that the thing that came running down the hallway wasn't a something but a someone. That sudden realizations hits me and I feel as if I've been punched in the chest. My legs start shaking and I sit down in the closest chair, hard.

Darry's whole face lights up. "Hey pumpkin!" He says, picking the child up off the ground and tossing her in the air a little before catching her with his giant arms.

"Daddy, mommy is still sleeping." She whispers into his ear as if it were some big secret that only they could know. Darry turns around and sees me and his expression changes completely.

"Alright, Charlotte. Why don't you run upstairs and ask her what she wants for breakfast." Darry says, kissing the top of the little girl's head before putting her back on the ground.

"Okay!" she says, running off again as if what Darry just told her to do was the most important task in the entire world.

"What's wrong, Pone?" Darry asks, turning his attention back onto me.

"I wanted to let you guys move on without having to worry about me. Like I said before, I've always known that I held you and Sodapop back. Looks like I was right." I say, a tear slipping out of the corner of my eye. I wipe it away hastily, "I'm sorry, I have to go." I stand up abruptly and turn to leave but Darry walks over and pulls me into a hug.

"Please don't go. You know that's not true, Pony. I love you and I've missed you so much." Darry says, squeezing me tighter. I relax into Darry's familiar embrace and that's when I lose it. Sobs wrack my entire body and I'm thrown right back into that place where I don't think I will ever stop crying.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." I sob. "I never wanted to shut you out, I was just so mad at everything. I just wanted life to give me a break."

"I know Ponyboy, it's alright." Darry insists, his own voice shaking slightly.

"And Darry?" I add.

"Yeah?"

"Your little girl is beautiful." I say.


	19. Chapter 19

**Darry's POV:**

"Charlotte, stop squirming." I say, shifting her in my arms. She giggles and hides her face in my shoulder, apparently thinking that this was a game. I smile and shake my head at her before turning to knock on the door of Ponyboy's apartment. "Are you ready to meet your uncle, Lottie?" I ask and she nods her head vigorously. I shift positions again, waiting for someone to answer the door. After thirty seconds, I knock again. "Ponyboy?" I call. I listen intently, wondering if anyone is even home and that's when I hear these strange noises almost as if someone on the other side of this door was being strangled. I test the door and when I find that it's unlocked, I look inside. I don't see anyone but the noises are definitely coming from in here.

"Hello?" I call, stepping inside the apartment and shutting the door behind me. The minute I enter the room, I wince at the sight of the place. There are clothes and empty bottles of alcohol everywhere. The stench of the place almost makes my eyes water. I push piles of junk off of an area of the couch in the living room, one of the few pieces of furniture in here, and lay my jacket down for fear of Lottie catching some horrible disease from this filthy sofa. I sit Charlotte down on my jacket, "Charlotte, let's play a game. If you can stay here for five minutes without moving or touching anything, we'll go get ice cream after this. Take this," I say as I take off my watch and point to the number three, "When the little hand gets here, that means it's been five minutes, okay honey?"

"Yay, ice cream!" She yells, grabbing the watch out of my hand. I stand up and hurry into the kitchen before running into the next room, searching intently for the source of that horrible noise. When I reach the bathroom, I see Ponyboy sprawled out on the bathroom floor and when I see him laying there on his back, I realize he's choking.

"Pony!" I yell, dropping to my knees as I grab Ponyboy's almost unconscious self and hold him over the toilet. The second I roll him from his back and onto his stomach, he throws up violently. He was choking on his own vomit. I want to cry at the thought of Ponyboy sitting here in this lonely and depressingly bare apartment, drinking himself to death. He probably does this a lot guessing by the startlingly large amount of empty bottles thrown around. This time he couldn't drag himself to a toilet fast enough before he passed out. He seemed fine when I saw him a few days ago. We had made plans for me to come over here and properly introduce him to Charlotte and for me to talk about Laura. In fact, during his last visit, he said he he doesn't drink often at all. I wonder what's changed or if ihe was even telling the truth in the first place.

I'm lost in my thoughts and without realizing it, my grip on Pony loosens. He slips and before I can catch him, he hits his face on the bathtub faucet. He lets out a loud groan and blood starts trickling from the middle of his eyebrow. "Shit!" I yell, punching the wall in frustration.

"Daddy?" A little voice says and I spin around to see Charlotte standing in the doorway, her bottom lip trembling. She's clutching my watch in her hands so tightly that her knuckles are white. She stares at Ponyboy, her eyes brimming with tears. "It's time for ice cream." She says and then she starts crying.

"Don't cry, Charlotte." I say, trying desperately to soothe her. "Shh, you're okay."

Charlotte cries harder and I'm about to put Ponyboy down and reach for her when Pony starts throwing up again. Charlotte screams and runs out of the room. "Charlotte, don't go anywhere! Everything's ok!" I yell, hoping she'll listen to me. I hold Ponyboy's limp body up as he vomits into the toilet bowl and when he's done, I sit him on the bathroom floor. The cut on his face isn't bad at all so I wash my hands and run into the living room to look for my daughter.

I find Charlotte curled up in my jacket as she lays on the couch, crying into the cushions.

"Shh, come here." I say, scooping Charlotte up into my arms. She buries her face in my shoulder, "What's wrong with him?" She sniffles. Charlotte has never seen anyone in that state and I know she must be scared.

"Nothing is wrong, honey. Your uncle is fine, he's just not feeling very well. You'll have to see him another time. Mommy is going to come get you and you can get some ice cream with her. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." I say quietly, kissing the top of her blond head.

* * *

 **Hi everyone! Sorry it's been so long but this is the first part of Chapter Nineteen. Thank you so much for reading:) I promise things pick up soon, I'm sorry they've been sad lately. I think this story may be ending soon but we'll see. Thanks again!**


	20. Chapter 20

**Darry's POV :**

"Soda, how could you do that?" I say in disbelief. "After what he did to us, after what he did to Ponyboy?"

I hear a groan from the living room and cut Soda off, "Soda, I have to go. Ponyboy is waking up. You know what, just do what you want." I say, hanging up the phone with a loud bang. I rub my eyes and walk into the living room. "You really disappointed your niece last night, Pony." I say, leaning against the wall.

"Aw hell, I'm sorry Dar." He croaks. "I totally forgot you were bringing her over."

He goes to sit up but immediately turns green. "Hey, just take it easy. You had a rough night last night. You passed out before you even made it to the toilet."

Pony lets his head drop back onto the couch and his shirt accidently rides up and that's when I realize how skinny he is.

"Ponyboy, when was the last time you had anything to eat?" I ask curiously.

He groans, "I don't know, Monday or Tuesday maybe? Please don't talk to me about food right now."

"So you're telling me you haven't eaten in six or seven days?" I ask, not believing my ears.

He doesn't respond and the only sound you can hear in this god damn apartment is the sound of our breathing.

"So what, was your plan to sit here and starve or drink yourself to death? Whichever comes first, am I right?" I say, a lump forming in my throat.

"No, Darry. I just can't bring myself to care about anything enough to live." He says and I think he's crying but I can't really tell.

"What, am I, your neice, or Soda not enough?" I ask, anger burning in my stomach.

"It's not that. The thing is, I had this girl. I mean she's the kind of girl you meet once and you never forget. And I loved her and I thought she loved me. But, it's been almost three months since I last saw her and I don't know where she is or how to reach her. She sure as hell hasn't reached out to me. Darry, I just don't know to live without her." He says and I feel my heart break a little more after each word.

I grab a chair from Pony's sad excuse for a kitchen table and I sit down right next to my brother. "The thing is I can't lose you again. It isn't healthy for you to be so dependent on this girl, no matter how special she is. You need help Pony and I'm going to give it to you whether you like it or not."

"Darry, please d-" He starts but passes out beforeally he can finish his sentence. He's weak, his body is shutting down. I grab Ponyboy's hand and I stare up at the ceiling, trying to figure out what the hell I'm going to do.

...

I call Laura and tell her everything and she said that she's coming over here to help whether I like it or not. Thirty minutes go by and there is a knock at the door. I open it and laugh at the site of Laura balancing under the weight off all the bags she brought. I grab as many bags as I can hold and lean into and give her a kiss, "Hey, honey. Thanks for coming over to help out."

Laura wrinkles her nose and makes a face, "You smell terrible. After we put these bags down you are going straight into the shower." I laugh and have her follow me into the kitchen. We put all of the bags on the counter and her jaw drops at the state of Pony's apartment. I pull Laura close to me and steal a kiss from her, silently reassuring her that we could do this.

"Hey, not fair! Now I need to steal one from you." Laura says, a smile breaking out across her face. She stands on her tiptoes and kisses me quickly on the lips. I laugh and lean into her and she stumbles backwards until we are both leaning against the counter. I lean in to kiss her again but something sharp pokes me in the chest.

"Ow!" I yell, looking down at Laura. She had whipped a toothbrush out from somewhere and had poked me with it.

"Ah, ah, ah! No more kisses for you until you shower and brush your teeth. I brought an overnight bag for both of us." She says, handing me a small black duffel bag.

I laugh and put my hands up, "Alright, watch where you point that thing! I'm going, I'm going." I take the toothbrush from her and she nods in approval. I pretend to walk away and then I turn on my heel and kiss her again. I obviously caught her off guard and she yelps.

"Darry!" She yells, swatting me playfully and I run into the bathroom but not before I hear her laugh.

...

I come out of the bathroom feeling clean and refreshed. I towel dry my hair and then hang my towel off the top of the door before heading back into the kitchen. Laura has stocked all of Ponyboy's cabinets and is bent over the stove, cooking away. I sneak up behind her and rest my hands on her waist. She makes a surprised noise and jumps, splashing me with whatever she was stirring.

"Darrel Curtis, get out of my kitchen! You're already making a mess!" She says, hitting me playfully with the spoon in her hand. I wipe the mystery food off my cheek and lick my finger.

"Whatever it is you're cooking tastes delicious." I say, peering over her shoulder.

"I'm making chicken noodle soup. You can have some later, before we clean every inch of this disgusting apartment." She replies.

I laugh, "Okay, thanks for doing this. I'm going to check on Ponyboy. I love you." I say, kissing her cheek.

"I love you too." She says, smiling.

I grab a glass of water and I walk into the living room. I can feel my good mood sinking with every step.

"Wake up Pone." I say, shaking his shoulder gently.

"Ellie?" He asks, rolling over.

"It's Darry. C'mon wake up." I say. Pony opens his eyes and I help him sit up. I put down the glass of water just long enough to prop Ponyboy up on a few pillows.

"Here." I say, handing him the glass. Pone takes it from me with a shaking hand and rubs his head with the other one.

Ponyboy winces with every sip and doesn't even finish the full glass of water before he pushes it back into my hand.

"I can't drink anything. My stomach hurts so badly. It's cramping." He explains, leaning back against the pillows. His whole body is shaking now.

"You're going through withdrawal." I say, standing up. "I'll be right back."

I head into the kitchen, "Laura he's going through intense withdrawl."

"Don't give in, don't give him any alcohol. He needs to quit cold turkey. His liver can't take much more of this." She says, turning off the stove and putting her ladel on the counter.

"Can you get me sone blankets?" She asks. I nod and we both leave the kitchen.

I go into Ponyboy's room and grab two blankets off of his bed. "So you're Ponyboy, right? The one that terrified my daughter last night and the one who I've been postponing my wedding for?" I hear her say and I can't help but laugh. I love that woman so much.

"The one and only." I hear Ponyboy say as i walk back ton the living room. "Sorry about all of that by the way."

"Don't sweat it kid." Laura says.

"Here you go." I say, laying two blankets over Ponyboy.

"Thanks." He says softly. "You don't need to do all of this though. I'll be fine by myself guys."

"There's no way we'll let you go through this on your own. If Charlotte is going to meet her youngest uncle then she's going to meet a sober one." I say and Laura nods in aggrement, leaning into me as I wrap my arm around her.

"Fair enough. I really do appreciate all of this." He says.

"Oh don't thank me yet, you haven't tried my cooking." Laura says and we all laugh.

"You're a great cook." I say, squeezing her shoulders affectionately. "But maybe not as good as me."

Laura glares at me playfully, "Sleep with your eyes open tonight buddy."

...

Ponyboy wipes his mouths and flushes the toilet. He leans against the wall, completely exhausted.

"I told you I shouldn't have eaten that chicken soup." He groans and I laugh. I help him up and he brushes his teeth before I drag him back to the couch. He's out the second his head hits the pillow. Tonight has been exhausting and it's not even five o'clock. I forced Ponyboy to eat something and that ended in disaster. I sink down to the floor next to Laura and she puts her head on my shoulder. Neither of us want to fall asleep.

Ponyboy has been talking in his sleep and is sweating so badly that I've had to wipe his forehead a couple of times. He's actually woken up twice now completely out of it with no idea where he is.

Laura and I have been watching over Ponyboy as he sleeps for two hours now. There is a knock at the door and relief floods through me. I need a distraction, it's been hard for me to watch Ponyboy go through this. I open the door and Soda smiles. I see Two-Bit standing behind him.

"Hey, we got here as soon as we could." Soda says, hugging me tightly and Two-Bit follows.

"It's good to see you, Dar. How's Ponyboy?" Two-Bit asks.

"Not good and this place is a mess." I say, stepping aside to let them in. They both wince at the condition of the apartment before they follow me into the living room. Two-Bit greets Laura but Soda immediately walks towards Ponyboy and rubs his head.

Ponyboy opens his eyes. "Soda?" He asks, squinting slightly.

"Hey little brother. You look like hell." He says, smiling bigger than I've ever seen him smile before.


	21. Chapter 21

**Ponyboy's POV:**

I wouldn't call myself an alcoholic but I know I struggle to control how much I drink sometimes. Quitting so suddenly like this makes me feel like I'm actually dying. I'm physically sick because my body can't handle going a few hours without alcohol. I can't eat, I can't sleep, and worst of all I can't stop thinking about Ellie. I know if I just have some whisker or maybe a few beers I can forgot about having any pain at all, physical or emotional. For me, that's the hardest part. I'm addicted to the feeling it gives me.

I've let myself go to the point where I can't even remember the last time I had a proper meal and as a result my body is actually shutting down on me. I feel helpless and weak and I hate it. Yesterday, I would've soothed my worries with a bottle or two of the strong stuff but now I can't with everyone keeping tabs on me. I usually start drinking to try and forget about Ellie and how she might never come back for me and then I start drinking to forget about everything else and that's when everything gets messy.

...

I hear a hiss from my right side and I open my eyes and look at Soda. He's trying to wrestle his prosthetic onto his stump and I can tell it's not very comfortable. "Are you okay, Soda?" I ask and he looks over at me, surprised.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Go back to bed." He says.

"I've been up all night, I can't sleep." I say but Soda isn't paying attention. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a pill bottle. I watch as he pops it open and takes four small white pills all at once. He puts the cap back on the bottle and leans back onto the couch cushions, looking much more relaxed.

"Soda, how long have you been taking those pills?" I ask, trying my best to sound casual.

"A few weeks. Don't worry though, they're prescription." He says, his voice slightly slurred.

"What does the prescription say?" I ask, pressing him for information. Soda doesn't answer, he's off dreaming in his own little world. In one quick motion I grab the bottle from him.

"Soda, it says take one pill every six hours depending on how bad your pain is. You just took four." I say and Soda reaches over and takes his medicine back.

"Four over the course of a day or four in one minute, it doesn't matter." He says, waving me off.

"Soda, if I catch you taking anymore today I'm telling Darry." I warn.

"Alright, knock it off with all your worrying." Soda says, opening one eye to look at me. I stand up and grab my head as everything around me starts spinning. "Hey what are you doing? You're supposed to sit and rest on the couch and I'm here to make sure that's exactly what you do."

"I'm getting a glass of water, sue me." I snap and Soda throws his hands up in mock surrender.

I walk into the kitchen and look around, noticing that Darry must've stocked my cabinets. I open my refrigerator and notice that it's also full. I about to grab the carton or orange juice out of the fridge when someone knocks on the door. With a sigh, I shut the heavy fridge door and shuffle back into the living room. I open the door and see a complete stranger standing there, holding a little girl in her arms.

"Who are you?" I ask, leaning against the doorframe for support.

"I'm Charlotte's babysitter. I was supposed to bring her over here this morning before I go to school." She says.

"I'm Ponyboy." I say, extending my hand in a friendly greeting.

"Emma." She says, shaking my hand politely. I quickly shove my hand in the pocket of my sweatpants to hide the shaking from her.

"I can take Charlotte, her parents are sleeping but they'll be up soon." I say.

"Thanks, I really have to go." Emma says, putting Charlotte down on the ground before adjusting her backpack. "It was nice meeting you!" She yells over her shoulder as she walks away.

"Bye!" I say but I doubt she cares.

Charlotte is swaying on her feet, obviously still half asleep. I pick her up and I start walking to my room where Darry and Laura are fast asleep but the second I try and lay her on the bed she clings to me like a koala.

"Mhm mhm." She says, shaking her head.

"Where do you want me to put you?" I ask, growing more and more tired with each passing second.

"I stay here." She pouts.

I shrug and walk back to the couch, sitting down with a sigh. Charlotte curls up on my lap, her head resting on my shoulder. Soon, she's fast asleep and I don't know if it was the warm feeling of having someone you know close to you or if it was simply the heavy feeling of being responsible for another human life but somehow I feel myself getting genuinely tired for the first time in two days. Charlotte really is growing on me.

...

"Well, well, well what do we have here? Is Ponyboy growing soft?" Darry teases, picking Charlotte up.

"Shut up." I say groggily. "She is cute though. I think she's growing on me."

Darry gently slaps the back of my head. "You hungry Pone?" He asks.

"Is that supposed to be a joke?" I ask, rolling over so I'm facing the back of the couch.

"No, you need to eat something. I'm making you eggs." He announces.

"That doesn't mean I'm going to eat it." I retort.

There is another knock on the door and I wonder if it's Charlotte's babysitter again.

 **Darry's POV:**

"Hi, can I help you?" I ask, staring at the stranger in front of me.

"Hi, I'm Ellie. Does Ponyboy live here?"


	22. Chapter 22

**Pony's POV:**

"I'll be fine, I promise. Just give me a minute to talk to her." I say, slipping past Darry. Darry gives me a look and I nod to let him know I mean what I said. He shuts the door behind him and I turn to face the thing that has haunted me for months now. "Ellie, where have you been? I've been going crazy over here." I say, doing my best to keep any emotions out of my voice.

"I went to visit my family in Texas. I wanted to end things on a good note and I knew you wouldn't have wanted me to go if I told you because of the way they've treated me in the past. I'm sorry but I didn't want you to worry about me." Ellie says, reaching out to take my hand. "I've missed you just as much, Pone. I love you."

For some reason, I burst out laughing. She looks her and I squeeze her hand. "I'm sorry, I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing at myself. I thought you left me."I say, doubling over. "I should've known better."

Ellie's face softens and she can't help but let out a giggle. Soon, she's in tears and we're both laughing so hard our bodes are shaking. I stand up and wipe the happy tears off of her face and I kiss her. I kiss her with every bit of passion I have and she kisses me back and, again, nothing has ever felt more right. "I love you too. "I say, pulling back to look her in the eyes.

"There's one more thing. I was going to stay with my family a little bit longer but I came back because my half brother is really sick and he lives here. He has no one to take care of him but his drunk of a father so I came back to help him. Strangely, when I mentioned where I was going, he wanted to come too. He said he wanted to make things right." Ellie says.

"What? Who's your-" I start but lose my train of thought when someone walks up the last step leading up to this floor. "Steve?" I ask in disbelief.

"Hey, Pony." He says. I smile, pulling him in for a hug. Steve seems shocked but hesitantly hugs me back. "You're not mad?" He asks.

"Mad about what? You saved my life." I say.

"So they didn't tell you." Steve says with a sigh.

The door to my apartment opens, "Ponyboy are you okay?" Darry says, sticking his head into the hallway. His eyes narrow. "What the hell are you doing here?I told you if you came by again I would kill you." Darry growls, closing the door behind him.

"What the hell Darry? It's Steve." I say, looking over at Ellie. She shrugs, she probably knows as much as I do.

"I know." He says, striding towards Steve. I don't have time to blink before Darry throws a punch and Steve and hits him in the gut. Steve winces and stumbles backwards. Darry punches him in the face and Steve doesn't make a move to hit him back even when his nose starts bleeding.

"Stop!" Elie yells and I jump forward and push Darry away from Steve, stepping in between both of them.

"Get out of the way Ponyboy." Darry says, his voice dropping to a scary level. "Do you know what he did? He's the one who called the agency, he's the one who got you sent away." I'm shocked into silence but when Darry tries to push past me, I stand my ground. Steve looks up at me, shocked that I would protect him.

"I don't care." I state simply.

"Why would you defend him?" Darry asks, obviously confused.

"Darry, as much as I hate to admit it, my time in foster care was good for all of us. You were able to start a family, Soda was able to get away, Two-Bit was able to go to college. Tell me, how are any of those things bad things?" I ask.

Darry continues to struggle against me, "I don't owe him anything."

"But I do! He saved my life. I wanted to kill myself but he stopped me. He was there when I was at my worst, just like you were this week." I confess while looking at the floor. I'm too ashamed to look at Darry's reaction.

"I'm sorry, Darry. I didn't want to hurt anyone. I was trying to do what was best. As an outsider looking in on your family, I could see pain in all of you that only time and space and maybe a change of scenery could heal." Steve says, am sweat beading on his forehead.

Darry looks at me and back at Steve, "You've always been family." Darry extends his hand and pulls Steve up off the ground. "We can sort this out later. We all need some sleep." Darry says.

"Steve, what's the matter with you?" I ask, noticing his strange behavior. He was sweaty and couldn't seem to stay steady on his own two feet. "Ellie said you were sick or something. Darry only hit you a couple of times and you're acting as if you're dying."

"I am dying. I have cancer, Ponyboy." He says with a sad laugh. "Looks like all that smoking and bad karma finally caught up to me."

* * *

 **Hey guys! Thank you so much to everyone who commented, I really appreciated them. They gave me some great ideas and I decided to combine them. There's a reason why I gave Steve this terrible disease so just hold on. As always, thank you so much for reading:)**

Anonymous


	23. Chapter 23

**Darry's POV:**

I have a million thoughts tumbling around in my head so I've decided to ignore them and handle things second by second. If I thought about what I want to say to Ponyboy right now, I would go crazy. I open the door and let Ellie and Steve inside and, just my luck, the first person we see is Soda.

"What the hell?" Soda asks, limping over to us.

"Soda, come with me. I need to talk to you." I say, pulling Soda into Pony's room before he can say something he regrets.

 **Pony's POV:**

"I need to use the bathroom." Steve says and I point to the door around the corner.

Ellie turns to me when Steve disappears from view, "So what now?"

I laugh, "I don't know. Are you hungry?"

"Starving. You must be too, considering how early it is." She says. "I'm really sorry for dropping in on you like this and I know I should've called but just hearing your voice would've convinced me to come home and I really needed time to work things out with my Dad. We haven't quite resolved our issues but I'm glad I got to come back early to see Steve. I think I finally accepted the fact that my Dad and I will never have a solid relationship."

"Hey, look at me." I say softly as I brush a few stray hairs behind her ear. "It'll be alright. You guys have been through a lot. Give it some time. You only just lost your mom a few years ago- wait, Steve is your half brother. That means that Steve lost his mom too. Oh my god, I had no idea. Why didn't you tell me?" I ask, getting more and more anxious.

"I didn't even know you knew him until a few days ago when he said he wanted to come on this trip with me!" She says and just then Steve comes back from the bathroom, holding his nose.

"Hey do you have any ice?" He asks.

"Oh yeah, sorry about Darry by the way." I say.

"It's okay, I deserved it. I'm really sorry about what I did. I wanted to tell you myself but there never was a right time." He says.

"It's okay, in a way, it was a blessing in disguise." I tell him honestly. I take Ellie's hand and she blushes and the three of us walk into the kitchen together. Two-Bit is there, making a spread of scrambled eggs, bacon, and pancakes. He wipes his forehead while still holding the spatula. He turns around and jumps when he sees us.

"Jeez, you scared me! Steve, what the hell are you doing here?" Two-Bit yells, pulling him into a big hug.

"I just came to say hi. Hey, since when do you cook?" Steve asks.

Two-Bit leans in and whispers, "I don't but don't tell anyone else that."

Steve laughs and Two-Bit turns to Ellie, "And who might you be, darling?"

"Knock it off." I say, noticing Two-Bit's seductive expression. "This is Ellie, my girlfriend. Ellie this is Two-Bit."

"It's nice to meet you." She says, holding out her hand.

Two-Bit grabs it and spins her around. "Trust me, the pleasure is all mine." He says with a big smile. Ellie laughs and I roll my eyes before I walk over to the freezer and take out the ice tray. I pop out some cubes and wrap them in a towel. Steve takes the makeshift ice pack gratefully and holds it on his swollen nose.

"What the hell happened to you?" Two-Bit asks Steve.

"Darry happened. I'll explain things later." I butt in, trying desperately to avoid a tense situation.

"Well Darry did a number on you! Here, eat." Two-Bit says, pushing a plate full of breakfast food towards Steve.

Steve pushes it back, "No thanks, maybe later."

"What? C'mon, the day Steve Randall refuses a meal is the day pigs fly." He retorts.

"Fine." Steve snaps. I watch as he picks up a piece of bacon and takes a bite but then puts it back on the plate, pushing it around with the rest of his meal but never actually eating it.

"How about you?" I ask Ellie.

"Yeah, everything looks delicious. I can't remember the last time I actually had a good homecooked meal." She says and I pass her a plate from the cupboard. Ellie starts piling her plate with food and I lean against the counter, enjoying the moment. I can't believe Ellie really came back.

"Is my cooking really that bad, Steve? What's the matter with you?" Two-Bit prods and I snap out of my thoughts.

"I told you, I'm not hungry." Steve says, pushing the plate away angrily before standing up. "Sorry, it's just a side effect of stomach cancer."

"Oh I'm so sorry, I-" Two-Bit starts.

"It's fine, you didn't know. I just didn't want you to find out like this and I didn't want you to look at me any differently for just a little while longer." He says, his voice heavy with sadness.

All of a sudden, Charlotte comes tearing around the corner and wraps herself around my legs.

"Uncle Po!" She yells and I laugh. Charlotte has trouble pronouncing my name so she's decided to abbreviate it. My voice trails off as a sudden wave of dizziness washes over me. I stumble backwards and reach for the counter and miss. I'm halfway to the floor before Two-Bit steps behind me and breaks my fall. He forces me to sit slowly on the ground, "Ponyboy? What's the matter? Talk to me. What did you eat yesterday?" Two-Bit asks, kneeling down in front of me so that we're eye to eye.

"I don't know, I just got really dizzy. I'm okay, I promise. Let me up." I say but Two-Bit forces me to stay down.

"How much did you eat yesterday?" He asks sternly.

I don't answer and Two-Bit questions me again, "Ponyboy, answer me."

I can tell by the tone of his voice that he's serious. "Nothing," I say softly, "I didn't eat anything."

"God dammit, we talked about this!" He says before walking over to the refrigerator.

Ellie puts her plate down and sits on the floor next to me, "Ponyboy? Look at me. Are you okay? Did you hit your head? How many fingers am I holding up?"

I laugh weakly, "Ellie, I'm fine. Nothing happened. I just got a little dizzy and Two-Bit is insisting on babying me."

I feel something tug at my shirt sleeve and I look to my left to see Charlotte. "I'm. Really. Sorry." She manages to squeak out before she bursts into tears.

"Charlotte, don't cry. You didn't do anything wrong, l just fell over. If you dry your eyes and go find your Dad for me, I'll make you some pancakes! " I say, trying my best to console her.

"Pancakes!" She yells excitedly and jumps around, doing her signature happy dance. Charlotte rubs her eyes and throws her arms around me in a quick apology before running off again.

Steve stands up and offers me a hand. As I stand up, Steve leans over and whispers in my ear. "Ponyboy, don't do this to yourself. Having an appetite and the ability to eat is something you will take for granted until you can't have those things anymore." He says and something about his words hits me hard. I nod, not even thinking what he's going through right now. Everything in my life is good, I don't have to punish myself anymore. If I couldn't get better for myself, the least I can do is get better for Steve.

"Here you go." Two-Bit says, handing me a glass of orange juice and a plate of eggs and bacon. Steve claps me on the back before he takes Ellie out of the room with him to discuss where they would be staying. I sit down and for the first time in a long time, I pick up my fork and start eating.


	24. Chapter 24

Ellie is curled up next to me, her head resting on my shoulder and I don't think I ever want to move. We've been sitting like this for hours, just talking and catching up. Darry had to go back to work for today and Laura took Lottie back to the house with her while she wraps up a few loose ends of her own. Soda and Two-Bit went out to goodness knows where, probably stirring up trouble, so Ellie and I stayed back with Steve who didn't feel like going out today.

"Hey, do you think we should go check on Steve now?" I ask.

"Yeah, probably." Ellie says. We walk to the bathroom and I knock on the door. "Steve, are you okay in there?" I ask. When I receive no response, I push the door open a crack and see that Steve is sitting on the floor, leaning against the bathtub, with his knees up to his chest. Ellie pushes past me.

"Steve, talk to me. What hurts?" She asks, shaking Steve slightly to wake him up.

"Ellie, has this happened before?" I ask. "Does he need to go to the hospital?"

"No, this happens sometimes. He gets really nautious or other times his stomach just really hurts and he feels like he's going to throw up. Most of the time he doesn't throw up, it's just constant pain without relief." She says.

"That sounds terrible." I say. Steve opens his eyes and groans, pressing his hand to his abdomen.

"It is." He says, pressing even harder as he frantically tries to stop the pain.

"We're going to get you out of here, to somewhere more comfortable." Ellie says slowly.

"No, don't move me please." Steve begs, extending and then immediately retracting his legs, trying to stretch out to make his stomach stop hurting. He is literally writhing on the ground in pain.

"We have to. You'll feel much better." Ellie says, trying to soothe Steve's anxiety.

"Help me get him up." She whispers to me.

I get behind Steve and hook my hands under his arms. "I'm going to pick you up on the counter of three. One, two, three." I say, pulling Steve up out of a sitting position.

He gasps, "No, please! It hurts, let me sit down!"

He was in so much pain that he was hunched over and every time he tried to straighten out his legs all the way so he could walk, he couldn't without making the pain worse.

Steve face is riddled with agony. "We're halfway there, trust me, I've got you. You'll be able to sleep in a bed rather than on the bathroom floor." I say.

Steve nods and I wrap my arms around him and practically carry him to my room. He can't even stand up. I sit Steve on the edge of the bed some pillows behind him. He slowly swings his legs onto the bed and, with my help, finally finds a comfortable position. Steve is sweating a ton, our trek from the bathroom to here completely wiped him out. Steve doesn't say anything for a while while he catches his breath so Ellie and I sit on the chair in the corner and wait.

"I'm sorry for putting you guys through this." Steve says weakly a few minutes later.

"Don't worry about it." I say, "Focus on getting better. Save your strength for your surgery in a few days."

"I'm not going to get better." He says and a tear rolls down Steve's face but he wipes it away before Ellie notices.

"Don't say that, yes you will. You'll have your surgery and then you'll do chemo and you'll get better one day at a time. Baby steps." Ellie says, trying her best to be positive.

"I'm not going to get better. If I could off myself right now, I would, but I can't with both of you hanging around me all of the time." Steve says and I feel like I've been slapped in the face. The reckless Steve Randall that I know so well would've never wanted to die.

"Don't say shit like that man! What the hell? You have all of these people that love and care about you, including me, and you won't even try to fight this? Not even for them, for me?" I say, suddenly upset.

Steve doesn't answer and I walk to the side of the bed, "Do you hear me? I won't let you die, Steve. You're going to be okay. Promise me you won't think like that anymore."

Steve closes his eyes, "Don't make this about you or Ellie. This is about me. I can't make any promises."

I hear a noise from the corner and realize that Ellie is getting upset. I take her out of the room so that we can give Steve time to think things over. The second we're out of earshot of Steve, Ellie breaks down. "Pony, Steve is the only actual family I have left. I can't lose him, I can't lose him too." She sobs. I hug her tightly and let her cry it out. I remember going through similar things when Soda was in the hospital.

"I know it seems like Steve isn't himself and I know it seems like he will never be the same person again but he's upset right now, angry at the world. He's allowed to be, let him get it out of his system. Don't be mad at him for it, he's confused about everything right now." I say, stroking her long brown hair. She nods and takes a deep breath.

"You're right. You're so right. I need to let him have his space, let him ride this out. I won't let him push me away though, I'll be right here the whole time." She says, more to herself than to me.

"Good, that's exactly what you need to do. Now go and relax, I'll take care of Steve right now."I say, kissing her gently on the forehead.

"Thank you, I mean it. I'm going to go make some tea now." She says before wandering off into the kitchen.

It's been about twenty minutes since I left Steve in my room. I walk in and am surprised to see him not in the bed.

"Steve?" I call.

"Present!" He says before he bursts into laughter.

"Steve, are you drunk?" I ask, walking around to the side of the bed closest to the wall where Steve's voice is coming from.

"How could I resist? You've got good taste my friend." He says. I see Steve, sitting with his back to the wall, a bottle of whiskey in his hand. Or what was a bottle of whiskey, it's now empty. He must've been snooping around and found the botile I stashed under my bed. In the other hand, he's holding my old switchblade. Which I also hid under my bed.

"Steve whatcha doing?" I ask.

"I don't know." He says, his voice shaking as he flicks open the switchblade. I kneel down slowly next to him and put my hand around the blade to keep him from hurting himself with it. It bites into my palm but I don't care. "Ponyboy, I don't want to die." He says. He crying and I think he's been crying for a while.

"I know, I know. Can you give me the switchblade?" I say gently. "Steve." I say to snap him out of his thoughts when he doesn't loosen his grip.

Steve lets go of the blade and I grab it, snap it back into place, and shove it in my pocket.

Steve loses it and starts crying so hard that no noise comes out. "This. Isn't. Me. What's happening?" He manages. He grabs the quilt on the bed and balls it up in his hands. He screams into it so that Ellie can't hear and I feel my heart breaking for him.

"Steve, I don't know what you're going through but right now, it's just you and me on this floor so let it all out. It's okay, this stuff happens to the best of us.

"I don't know what to do." He sobs.

"I know, but I'll be there every step of the way and so will Ellie, Soda, Darry, and Two-Bit. You're not alone in this." I say. After a while of Steve crying on the floor next to me, he goes quiet and I realize he finally passed out.

"Ellie!" I yell and she comes running into the room.

"Oh my God what happened?" She asks.

"Nothing, he got dunk and passed out. Don't ask me how he got it. I think he found it under my bed but I'm not sure. Help me get him back into bed." I say. Together, Ellie and I lift Steve onto the bed and tuck him in so that he'll be comfortable when he wakes up.

"You're surprisingly good at this." Ellie says.

"Good at what? " I ask.

"Taking care of drunks, comforting people, talking to them." She says.

"I don't know why, I guess I've had years of practice." I say and we both laugh. I sit in the arm chair in the corner of the room for the second time today.

"Are you staying here?"

"Yeah, I want to make sure he's okay." I respond.

"Then I'm staying too." She says, taking a seat next to me.

* * *

Hey everyone! I'm so sorry but I'm posting twice today, I woke up with an idea and I just had to write. I wrote both chapters this morning while I was half asleep so I'm sorry if they're terrible. These chapters are very fluffy and explain the current relationships between the characters and all the action will happen later. Thank you for reading! Have an awesome rest of your weekend:)


	25. Chapter 25

**Steve's POV:**

I dry heave into the toilet but this time I can't tell if it's from the alcohol I had yesterday or because of the stomach cancer. I'm going to have an operation in four days to remove the cancerous tumour in my stomach and my doctors said I shouldn't drink beforehand. I groan, I tried to give up alcohol and become a healthier person. Apparently, my tolerance has gone down quite a bit because of it. Now, I'm regretting drinking at all yesterday.

"Get up early, suffer in silence by yourself in the hope that you won't wake anyone up with the sounds of your suffering. Yeah, I've done that more times in my life than I can count. Here." Soda says, reaching a hand out to me and stepping on my foot. He pulls me to my feet with ease using his leverage. "What has you hunched over the toilet at seven o'clock in the morning?" He asks.

"Bad decisions involving too much alcohol." I say.

Soda laugh, "Well then I guess you haven't changed a bit."

I manage a smile, "I guess not. I've been trying to cut back lately. Apparently that shit is bad for your health. The way I see it, I'm dying anyway so why try and change my habits now? Why not do what you enjoy in your last week of life?"

"Because you're not dying, stupid. You have cancer. There's a difference. You can get better." He says, slapping me on the back of the head.

I wince, "Ow. Way to mind the hangover."

"Sorry. Come with me, that is a problem I can fix." Soda says.

I rub my eyes and follow Soda to the kitchen.

"Sit." He commands. I lay my head on the counter and listen as Soda opens the fridge. I guess I fell asleep because the next thing I know, Soda is shaking me awake and there is a a plate with a piece of buttered toast and a pile of scrambled eggs sitting in front of me.

"What's all this?" I ask with a yawn.

"Food." He says and I laugh. Soda hasn't changed either.

"I can't-" I start but Soda cuts me off with a look.

"Yes you can." He says. "And here's some water." Soda adds, sliding a glass across the counter.

...

I put the fork down and wince. I'm going to regret eating all of that later. I have to admit, I was really hungry.

"Are you okay?" Soda asks, sipping his chocolate milk.

"Yeah, I'm stuffed though." I say, picking up my plate and my glass and putting them in the sink. I'm in the middle of washing the plate when I suddenly grow very nautious. I shift positions and try and ignore it but it doesn't go away. I normally don't have any symptoms but I'm finding it harder and harder for me to eat anything these days.

"Steve, you don't have to do the dishes. I got it for today." Soda says. "I was the one who cooked it and made a mess."

"No, I'm fine, I can wash the dishes. Hasn't the rule always been that if you cook the meal you don't have to clean up afterwards?" I ask.

"You don't have to bulllshit me. We've been friends for years, I can tell when you're lying. Go take a nap. It's good to see you again though." Soda says, smiling gently but, in a way, he looks kind of sad.

"Thanks. Really, I mean it." I say. I feel so useless but it's like my mind can only focus on one thing at a time and that one thing is giving my body what it wants. I shuffle down the hallway and lay back down in the bed I woke up in.

...

 **Ponyboy's POV:**

"TOUCHDOWN!" Two-Bit screams, slamming the football on the ground before doing a lap around the lot, whooping and hollering his fool head off.

"C'mon guys! I had money on your team!" Steve yells from his lawn chair on the sideline. "Y'all suck." He says, spitting on the ground.

"I would like to see your sorry ass get out here and do better!" Soda says. Steve just finished his last round of chemo and is taking it easy. His operation went well but the chemical therapies have been hard on him these last few weeks.

"You know what, I will!" He says, standing up defiantly.

"Steve, I don't think-" Soda says with worry clear in his eyes.

"Shut up and hold this." Steve commands, handing Soda the baseball cap he was wearing that hides his almost bald head. That was another thing that Steve hated. His hair started falling out in clumps and, as everyone knows, a Greaser's head of hair is their most prized possession. I stopped greasing my hair in support of him and I even considered shaving it off. We all were going to do that but Steve insisted that we all enjoy our hair while we still can, before we lose it all when we're old. Those were Steve's words, not mine. "Get out of here, Soda. I'm subbing in."

Soda laughs and jogs over to the sideline. He cracks open a can of beer and settles into Steve's chair. With his new prosthetic leg, Soda can run slowly now. I turn to Two-Bit.

"They are such sore losers." I say and Two-Bit laughs. I watch Steve and Darry form their plan of attack and I turn to Two-Bit and we form ours.

We line up on our opposite lines and Steve starts the game, passing the ball through his legs to Darry. Steve takes off one way and I chase after him while Two-Bit tries to take down Darry. "Darry, go long!" Steve yells and I turn around just in time to see the ball flying through the air. I jump at the same time as Steve. My fingertips brush against the ball but I'm not quite tall enough to reach it. Damn Darry and his football skills. Almost as if we were in slow motion, I watch as the ball hits the ground and then a few seconds later I hit the ground too. Except I land on top of Steve.

"Oof!" I hear from under me. Oh no. I roll off of Steve who is wheezing on the ground, "Steve? Are you okay? Talk to me bud." I say, trying to examine Steve for any obvious injuries. During my two second assessment, I didn't notice anything wrong with him externally but what I also didn't notice is Steve's hand slowly creeping towards the ball. In a flash, Steve grabs the ball in one hand and grabs my leg with the other before he pulls my leg out from under me. I hit the ground and Steve jumps to his feet and takes off running towards the end zone.

"SUCKER!" He screams and I burst out laughing. "AND THAT'S A TOUCHDOWN FOR TEAM DARRY AND STEVE!"

Steve throws the ball behind him and starts dancing. "You're an asshole!" I yell.

"Yes Steve! We won, we won!" Darry yells while doing backflips.

"Guys I hate to be the smart one here but you guys didn't win because that is not a legal move." Two-Bit says, rubbing his face as if he couldn't believe how stupid Darry and Steve were.

"Two-Bit, we totally won. Did you see how awesome that was?" Darry asks.

"Darry have you gone mad? Have you lost all sense of reason? The old you would've never cheated at football! You totally didn't win!" I say as I get up off the ground and brush my pants off.

"Soda, what do you think?" Steve says.

Soda scratches his chin, pretending to think hard. "The winners of this football game are... drumroll please... Steve and Darry!" He yells, jumping to his feet, spraying beer everywhere.

"THEY'VE GONE MAD, THEY'VE ALL GONE MAD!" Two-Bit yells, sinking to the ground dramatically.

I double over in laughter. It feels so good to laugh and have everyone together like this. It's almost like old times.

...

Laura, Charlotte, and Ellie show up to the empty lot twenty minutes later. Goodness knows what they've been up to this whole time. "Ellie!" I yell. When she comes over, I dip her before leaning in to kiss her softly.

She giggles, "Well hello to you too. Who is this person and what have you done with my sad, angsty boyfriend?"

"Oh stop." I say, standing back up and letting her go.

"You know I'm just kidding." She says, nudging me playfully.

"Oh gross. The last thing my delicate stomach needs is a first row seat to my sister's romantic life." Steve says, fake gagging.

"Knock it off Steve." Ellie says, shoving him away.

Steve laughs and wanders off towards the small fire we built. Darry, Two-Bit, Steve, Soda, and I pulled an old couch, a log, and an old lawn chair over for all of us to sit on. You never know what junk people are going to dump here.

"If everyone could take a seat, I have an announcement to make. Well a few announcements." Darry says, bouncing Charlotte in his arms to try and get her to go to sleep.

I sit down on the log and Ellie sits next to me and puts her head on my shoulder. I put my arm around her and pull her even closer. Finally, when everyone is sitting, Darry clears his throat.

"As everyone knows, Charlotte was born when Pony was in foster care. Laura and I met long before that and had hoped to be married before Charlotte was born. But, I told her that it would mean the world to me if I could have all of my brothers at my wedding and Laura, being the amazing woman she is, understood." Darry says, pausing to kiss Laura on the forehead. That explains Darry's happy-go-lucky, carefree, and very un-Darrylike behavior earlier.

"So, now that everyone is here, I would like to announce that Darry and I are getting married in two months, in June." Laura finishes with a smile and everyone else starts clapping and cheering.

"It's obvious that you an Darry are perfect for each other. Welcome to the family Laura, you're the best sister-in-law anyone could ask for." Soda says, leaning over to give her a hug.

"I second that!" I say. "To Darry, Laura, and Charlotte!" I say, raising my glass in a toast.

"To Darry, Laura, and Charlotte!" Everyone else repeats, taking a sip of their drinks.

"And, since we postponed Charlotte's baptism too, Laura and I would like to announce that Ponyboy and Ellie are going to be her official godparents." Darry says, smiling at us. "Ellie, even if you don't want to stay with Ponyboy for the rest of your life, you are technically already family as we recently found out, so you showed up just in time. As you can see, we have quite a shortage of females around here."

Ellie laughs, "Thank you so much. And don't worry about Ponyboy and I, I think we're perfect just how we are."

Soda clears his throat and I take that opportunity to kiss Ellie quickly. "I love you." I say.

"I love you too." She whispers back.

I tune back into what Soda is saying. "Speaking of females in the family, I'm moving down to Florida and starting my own mechanic shop down there because Sandy and I have been talking and we want to give our relationship another shot." He says, looking around nervously at everyone's reactions.

"Well shit man, congratulations." Steve says, clinking his beer against Soda's. "I'll drink to that!" He says, making Soda laugh. I don't think the smile on his face could get any bigger.

"To Soda for overcoming the odds and to his new future!" I say.

"To Soda!" Everyone echos, clinking their glasses together.

"Guys, I just want to thank you first being there for me during my struggle with cancer. I've done things I regret and sometimes I've just outright been a pain in the ass but everyone here tonight found a way to forgive me and not only that, you also found a way to move past it and help me through one of the hardest times in my life. Without you all, I wouldn't be sitting here today and I can't thank you enough. I also can't wait for all of the adventures we're going to have together because today, I got the official word that I am cancer free. I was waiting for the right moment to tell everyone." Steve says, wiping tears off of his cheeks. Ellie starts crying too and goes over to him, hugging him tightly.

"To Steve and all of his future adventures." I say, raising my glass.

"To Steve!" Everyone cheers, taking big swigs of their beverages.

"Pony, why are you crying?" Ellie asks, sitting back down next to me.

I reach up and wipe my face. "I'm just really happy." I tell her and she grabs my hand in a gesture of silent agreement. I turn to face the whole group.

"I have some news too. I've decided that I want to go back to school and study to become either a grief counselor or a physical therapist at a hospital. I don't want to be afraid of hospitals anymore. I know that hospitals couldn't help my mom or dad or Curly but they did save you, Soda, and how is that a bad thing?" I announce.

Everyone is shocked until Darry breaks the silence. "I think that's amazing. I love you, little buddy. You know what? I love everyone here. Here's to new beginnings!" Darry says, raising his glass in a final toast. With the sound of clinking glasses ringing in my ears, I realize that this is the first time in a long time that I have ever felt this loved, this at peace, or this proud of a group of people.

* * *

 **Hey everyone! This is officially the final chapter of this story and I just want to thank all of you amazing people for reading this story and commenting because reading your lovely messages makes getting out of bed just a little easier and makes my day brighter** **. Never forgot how powerful you and your words are. I really do appreciate all of your feedback and advice throughout this journey and to end this message, I want to thank S.E. Hinton for creating such an amazing book with such amazing characters. I love The Outsiders and it will always have a special place in my heart as will all of the wonderful things it taught me. Again, thanks for reading and I hope to write another story soon.**

 **Lots of love,**

 **Anonymous367**


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